ghosted after a first date

If You Get Ghosted After A Great Date, Text Them This

Picture this: You went on an awesome first date. The conversation flowed, your connection felt natural, and you thought to yourself, "This could turn into something." When it was over, a day passed with no word from your date. Then another, then a few more, and it’s still radio silence. By this point, you can't help but wonder what’s going on. The vibe was there, but now they've gone full Casper. Nothing’s more confusing and frustrating than when someone ghosts you after a great date . "When you get ghosted after a fantastic date, with great chemistry and easy conversation, it feels jarring and confusing. And it feels personal — like you said or did something wrong. But it’s rarely your fault," Connell Barrett , Dating Transformation founder and dating coach with The League, tells Elite Daily. It's natural to have questions about what happened, and to hope you'll rekindle that initial flame with a text. But texting a potential ghost can be tricky and nerve-wracking. What if they don't respond? What if they get annoyed that you "didn't get the memo"?

Keep the awkwardness to a minimum by reading up on what the experts suggest when it comes to texting someone who ghosted.

Why People Pull A Casper After A Seemingly Great Date.

There might be many reasons why you haven't heard from someone you feel you had an instant connection with, as Julie Spira , online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships , tells Elite Daily. They include the possibility that, while you think you might have gotten along, something was just missing in the connection for your date. “Perhaps your date was being conversational, engaging, and polite, but they still didn’t feel the magic and spark that you did,” Spira explains. “If that’s the case, they wouldn’t want to send a text that says, ‘It was great to meet you, but I don’t feel a romantic connection and wish you the best.’ Instead, it’s easier to go quiet and disappear.”

It could also just be that, with the advent of the dating app, people just have a lot more options and romantic irons in the fire, says Barrett. “We live in the Swiping Age, where we have lots of dating options. The ghoster has likely been seeing multiple people and decided to only date their ‘top’ prospect. Yes, things were seemingly going great, but odds are, they found someone who’s a better match for them,” he explains.

These are the most obvious reasons you might not hear back after a date, but there’s actually another, less discussed reason why people pull a disappearing act after a really great connection. “Some people ghost because they’re afraid of getting rejected down the road. They’re very into you, so they go quiet because they fear getting hurt later on. This ghoster comes up with excuses to not date you — too busy with work, not each other’s types — but the truth is, they fear being rejected in the future,” says Barrett. “This is a tragic kind of ghosting because two people could be amazing together, but the ghoster’s fears keep them from creating that long-term romantic connection.”

This final reason is not as uncommon as you might think, says Spira. “I see this happen quite often when someone sends mixed messages on a date, so if you’re excited about the person, let them know at the end of the date that you really had a great time and look forward to seeing them again,” she advises. This is all the more reason why, if you felt a real spark between you and your date, you might want to reach out by text after, just to test the waters.

Texting Your Ghost.

When it comes to texting ghosts, there are a few tactics to choose from. Spira suggests giving them the benefit of the doubt and assume their lack of communication might simply be a sign they have a busy life. “In this case, I suggest saying, ‘Hey, I’ve been swamped with work lately and am coming up for air! How are you?’ If they write back, you may or may not get an explanation of their disappearing act, but you might be able to re-ignite a spark and set up another date,” she says.

The key to texting a ghost, explains Barrett, is to keep things light and infuse some humor. “Text something like, ‘Testing, testing… Is this thing on? Hey, just wanted to reach out one last time to see if you want to meet up, in case you forgot how awesome I am’,” he suggests. Barrett also emphasizes using the phrase “one last time” in your texts. “The phrase lets them know it’s now or never and you’re ready to move on, and this can sometimes bring a ghost back to life,” he says.

Barrett adds the one thing you want to avoid when texting a ghost is losing your cool or being confrontational in your message. “ Don’t confront them on their ghosting. Venting may feel good at the moment, but it won’t reignite the romance. They’ll either ignore a confrontational message, or they’ll be justifying their actions — making you feel rejected all over again,” he explains.

What To Do If You Don’t Hear Back From Your Ghost.

Putting yourself out there with a text can be challenging, but Barrett says it's all about having the right frame of mind and setting your exceptions appropriately. “Be zen. You should never expect a text back. Pre-accept that, these days, ghosters are gonna ghost. If you focus only on what you can control, you’ll guard against the negative feelings that arise when someone pulls a Casper on you,” he advises.

Spira adds not to drag things out longer than necessary. “Everyone is attached to their phones these days, so if someone missed one text, they wouldn’t miss the second one. It’s time to move on to greener digital pastures,” she says.

While it's disappointing to not hear back from someone you thought had real potential, in some ways, someone ghosting you can be a positive thing, says Barrett. “Reframe ghosting as a gift,” he suggests. “Wouldn’t you rather get ghosted a few dates in rather than a few months or few years in? They gave you the gift of time and heartache saved. The best final text to send is two simple words: ‘Thank you!’ And then move on,” he concludes.

The ultimate takeaway here is that if you want to text someone you felt a spark with after date, then go for it. Maybe they’re ghosting, maybe they’re busy, or maybe they’re nervous because they like you so much. The only way to know for certain is to shoot them a text. Just keep it light and breezy and, if you don't hear back, keep it moving.

Experts cited:

Julie Spira , online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships

Connell Barrett , Dating Transformation founder and dating coach with The League

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Ghosting After First Date: 7 Tips Why & What To Do (Examples)

What’s ghosting?

Why would someone ghost you after a first date?

How do you deal with it? And how can you prevent it from happening?

What is ghosting?

Why do people ghost after a first date, reasons people ghost after a date, why does it feel bad to be ghosted, should you reach out to the person who ghosted you, best way to deal with ghosting after the first date, instantly get over being ghosted after the first date.

This article tells you all.

Ghosting is a relatively new dating therm that describes the situation when someone stops all communication without warning or explanation. In other words, they’re acting like a ghost.

The most common example would be leaving messages on “read” or “seen” without a reply. Another would be blocking someone on all social media or changing one’s own socials. The more obvious they retreat, the more likely you’re being ghosted.

Do keep in mind that there’s a difference between ghosting someone and taking your time to reply.

My golden rule: assume the best, but do make steps to move on if they keep you waiting.

People ghost after a first date for largely two reasons: (1) the other person wasn’t a fit in some way, or (2) a personal circumstance that has nothing to do with the other. Perhaps they realised they’re not ready to be romantically involved with someone.

Because ghosting is generally an immature action, people who ghost can have very petty reasons for it.

Do note that many people feel like they don’t owe you an explanation if they don’t want to see you again after a first date. For some,  common courtesy doesn’t extend to early dating.

Considering being ghosted sucks. It’s common to wonder what the ghost gains from cutting off all communication with you.

It’s simple. They can continue with their life without having a difficult and/or awkward conversation.

People don’t get back in touch with you after a first date because they don’t think you’ll like to hear the answer. So instead of giving you bad news and feeling icky, they say nothing.

This sadly doesn’t give you closure.

So what is the precise reason they don’t they want to talk with you or see you again?

Let me give you the most common reasons.

• They’re not into you . For better or worse, attraction is subjective and personal. Maybe, they didn’t feel a spark.
• They’ve told a lie they can’t get out of They could have lied about their age, life circumstances, or relationship status.
• They’re too busy . Maybe they just started a new challenging job.
• They’re going through a rough patch. It is also possible that they went out and realized they’re not ready to get attached to someone.
• They’re into someone else. or want to see what else is out there . They can ghost you because their attention is somewhere else.
• They’re intimidated by you . . Perhaps it’s the age difference, your wealth, your intellect, or your status. Whatever it is, they just don’t feel comfortable about it.

Being ghosted after a first date can already make you feel used, disrespected, and replaceable.

And to top it off, you feel wildly insecure because you don’t know what happened.

Did you do something wrong or is there another reason for their absence? And are they really ghosting you or will they reach out to you at a later moment because they actually do value you?

The not-knowing can eat you up inside.

It’s only after you’ve been ignored long enough that you know you’ve been ghosted. But without a reason, you’re likely to look at your own actions for an explanation. And blame yourself.

Plus, you have zero information on how to prevent the same from happening again in the future.

Left with all these questions, ghosting really is an act of emotional violence. Without the opportunity to ask questions and gain information, you’re left to rebuild your damaged self-esteem by yourself.

Knowing if you should reach out largely depends on your answer to two questions:

• Have you actually been ghosted, or have they simply not replied to your last attempt to reach out?
• How close are you to other person?

If you’ve clearly been ghosted and you have very little connection to the other person, you’re better off giving your time and attention to someone who deserves it.

But reaching out one last time doesn’t hurt. Plus, it’ll give you the closure you may be after.

Here’s a script you can use.

I get the impression you’re no longer interested. And that’s totally fine, even though I’m a little bruised because I had a good time. So I’m going to move on now. Have a great week 🙂

It’s great, because you’re being honest, vulnerable and warm, all while giving them one last chance.

Here’s the first thing you want to do after being ghosted: don’t take it personally.

They didn’t reject who you are, at worst, they rejected how you made them feel.

After all, they don’t really know you. You’ve shown what, perhaps 5% of your awesome personality?

You’re barely a person to them. They’re just projecting all kinds of stuff onto you but have no clue who you actually are.

So don’t worry about it.

Besides, it makes no sense to get hung up on someone who’s acting like an a-hole. The fact that they’re ignoring you should be plenty of reason to not give a crap.

Instead, focus your attention on the people that actually care about you and treat you right.

Maybe my previous words barely give you any comfort. Perhaps your pain after being ghosted is just too much.

So let me give you concrete steps to get over your hurt.

Do you even know why you’re hurting so badly for someone you’ve only been on a date with once?

Because I’m 169% certain that you don’t have enough other fun women to date.

Perhaps even zero.

So of course, you’re feeling bad, you’ve got no chance to get into bed with anyone else!

Let’s change that.

With my checklist, you can easily build a dating profile that’s wildly better than 8/10 of your male competitors. So that alone will get you plenty of matches.

Next, you can use my Personality Slicing Technique to make her addicted to your texts and get her excited to see you on a date.

I give both away for free, so make sure to get your copy by clicking the big gold button below.

Blessings, Louis Farfields

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Here's Why You Got Ghosted After a Great Date—And What to Do About It

Vanishing has become easier than ever–but it's not okay.

It's called ghosting, it happens WAY too often, and it occurs between friends and romantic prospects alike. It's so common it's inspired a 2019 TV reality series called Ghosted: Love Gone Missing , in which two hosts track down a person who's vanished from someone else's life—without so much as a Sex and the City - style " I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me " Post-It note—to sort out exactly why they did it. That premise is bound to appeal to the thousands of people who are checking their phones this very second, waiting for a message that'll never come.

Here's what an expert has to say about ghosting, why some people do it, and how to deal with the action.

More From Oprah Daily

What counts as ghosting in the dating world?

Ghosting is officially defined as "the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, instant messages, etc."

While my most brutal ghosting experience wasn't a date but a childhood friend who dropped me out of nowhere, it runs particularly rampant in the world of online dating . Stan Tatkin, psychotherapist and author of Wired for Love , says that's because apps have created a consequence-free environment—or at least, the illusion of one.

"It used to be when we dated people, we met them at work, or school, somewhere in their neighborhood, friends of friends, and so on. So our behavior would reflect badly on us if we treated somebody poorly, such as just disappearing," he explains. "It's much easier today, because people are more anonymous, and they're getting away with more."

Maggie's personal rule of ghosting involves what she calls a "two-date cutoff." If either party isn't feeling it after two dates, they can slip away without explanation. "After date number three, you’ve invested a not-insignificant amount of time and energy in interacting with this person, so the least you can do is send a quick text, call, or email saying you’re not into it."

But according to Tatkin, it's not about a quantifiable amount of time invested; it's about how their vanishing act made you feel—even if you were strictly exchanging messages for a few weeks. "If it felt to you that the person just disappeared mid-sentence, and you sensed the jarring effects, then yeah, that's ghosting."

What's the psychology behind ghosting?

The reasons people choose to abruptly halt contact—meaning, the rationale they told themselves to justify it—can certainly vary, since no two situations are the same. But as Tatkin explains, many believe these budding relationships are somehow less real in the age of dating apps and text-based communication, and can be treated as such.

Despite Maggie's negative experiences as a ghostee (Ben was just one of several instances), she says the majority of men in her social circle insist it's become a perfectly acceptable practice. "My guy friends maintain that ghosting is a result of us becoming culturally desensitized to meaningful communication while throwing things around in a digital-only environment," she says.

From a psychology standpoint, Tatkin believes there's often a deeper motivation—especially for those who are habitual ghosters—and it has to do with something called an attachment style . Attachment theory is a psychological model that aims to identify the different ways people bond with others, going back to their earliest interactions with parents as a baby. In adult romantic relationships, the theory goes, there are four main attachment styles that affect everything from which partners you choose to why your relationships end: Secure, anxious/ambivalent, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant ( read more about each attachment style here ).

Ghosting falls squarely in the realm of "avoidant" behavior, Tatkin says. "People who are dismissive and avoidant are more likely to 'rotate' people," he continues. "Ghosting is another way of basically not having any conflict, right? People who are conflict avoidant would be natural ghosters, because no muss, no fuss—you just disappear. So it's 'good for me, and if it's not good for you, then sorry.'"

The bright side? You might have dodged relationship challenges down the road, had you continued to see each other. "The group of people who are most likely to do this have a hard time with dependency, and with commitment," Tatkin says.

Some people ghost to protect themselves from rejection.

Here's where Tatkin blew my mind: Some people cease communication not because they're commitment-phobic, but because they're scared you'll hurt them. "There are people on the other side of the spectrum who are much more afraid of abandonment and rejection," he says. Those with an anxious or ambivalent attachment style may ghost as a sort of preemptive strike—either out of fear that you'll disappoint them in the future, or because of a perceived slight on your end (regardless of whether you actually did anything wrong).

"If I was really sensitive to abandonment, withdrawal, and punishment, I may try to get even," Tatkin says. "So in doing that, I would ghost you, and that would give me some satisfaction—the idea that I've hurt you in the way that you've hurt me."

Try not to blame yourself if you've been ghosted.

Due to what psychologists call negativity bias —the natural human impulse to dwell on negative events over positive ones—those whose texts and messages go unanswered often wonder what they did to deserve it. "What's particularly cruel about this, is that without knowing why or what happened, the person is now left with their imagination, which is more likely to be negative," Tatkin explains. "They reflect on themselves. 'This person feels aversion towards me. I must be ugly, I must be stupid. It must be something I said."

Tough as it is, the healthiest thing is to avoid self-blame, cultivate the self-love you deserve , and keep it moving.

Confronting them isn't the best option.

Yes, telling them off would be a gutsy, *possibly* gratifying move. Or, it'll reopen the emotional wound, particularly if the ghoster acts cagey about why they did it. "To confront somebody who's ghosted you risks further rejection," Tatkin says. "So it would take a lot of courage to do that, hopefully with the realization that it's not going to turn out well."

Getting even post-ghosting isn't the best idea, either.

Calling them up to tell them off may leave you feeling worse, and spreading the news of their poor behavior might not make you feel better, either. "Some people will make sure this person has a bad reputation, if they can," Tatkin says. But that won't soothe your rejected feeling. "It just sucks, because ghosting is an aggressive, cruel thing to do. There's no other way of looking at it."

Surround yourself with people who care about you, and reconsider your dating strategy.

As with an actual breakup , this too shall pass, and in the meantime, you'll want to spend time with friends who'll build you back up. Trying to meet new people offline , while taking a break from dating sites, can't hurt either. "If I'm going to play on a field that's anonymous, then this is going to happen, because people abuse this whole thing," says Tatkin says. "If you can be just a picture and words on a screen, you can be dispensed with easily."

Know that ghosting in dating is absolutely rude.

Tatkin will say it one more time for the back row: Ghosting is lousy. "It should bother people doing it, and it should bother people when it's done to them."

As painful as it is, Maggie's learned this herself. "It sucks to be on the receiving end, but it gives me clear information on where to direct my energy so I don’t waste any days, she says. "Ghosting is a really great way to tell someone that you don’t respect their time."

*Name has been changed

For more stories like this, sign up for our newsletter .

Samantha Vincenty is the former senior staff writer at Oprah Daily. 

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5 Reasons Why Guy Ghost After A Good First Date (And How To Prevent It)

By Victoria Allen

Published on February 12, 2023

Why do some men choose to ghost after a successful first date, even though everything seemed to have gone well?

Discover the top 5 reasons why men may ghost after a promising first date, and learn how to avoid this from happening to you. Read on for more information.

WHY DO GUYS GHOST AFTER A GOOD FIRST DATE

So, your initial encounter with a seemingly charming individual went smoothly... and then suddenly, they disappeared without any explanation.

Don't worry, this is a common experience that has happened to many people, including those who are highly successful.

With that in mind, if you're unsure about why he chose to suddenly end all communication with you, these 5 common explanations may provide some insight:

1. They Are Cheating on Their Partner

It's not uncommon for a man to ghost a woman after a seemingly successful first date, particularly when the date went exceptionally well. In some cases, this may be because they are involved in a committed relationship with someone else.

If a man ends all communication with you due to being in a committed relationship, consider it a fortunate discovery. Had he not ghosted you, and you were unaware of the situation, the realization that he was already involved with someone else could have been devastating.

It's better to be ended things abruptly by a person who is not being truthful, than to be kept in the dark about their actions and be misled.

2. Your Personality Doesn't Suit Them

Another common reason why men may choose to end communication after a first date is because they found that your personalities were not compatible.

This means that the man had a certain image or expectation in his mind of how you would be, how you would act, talk, etc., but when he finally met you in person, your actual personality did not match his expectations.

This is another instance where you should be grateful that things ended early on. If he had continued to pursue a relationship with you despite having unrealistic expectations, it could have led to further disappointment and conflicts in the future.

3. They Don't Like the Way You Look

Unfortunately, one of the most superficial reasons a man may choose to ghost after a successful first date is because he was not physically attracted to you.

It could be that your eyes remind him of someone from his past, or your figure reminds him of his mother, causing him to be unable to move forward with a relationship with you.

Although it may be insensitive, many men would prefer to ghost someone rather than confront the emotional discomfort of having to reject them directly.

Furthermore, if he was not physically attracted to you, it is likely that he would not hesitate to pursue someone who he finds more appealing in the future.

4. Your Presence/Appearance Intimidates Them

At times, a man may choose to ghost a woman due to feeling intimidated by her presence.

It could be your striking appearance, quick wit, or confident approach to your sexuality that makes him feel inadequate and unsure of himself.

If a man is so intimidated by your presence that he ends all communication after the first date, it may be best for you to look for a more confident and self-assured partner who can appreciate and handle your strength.

5. They Wanted Quick Sex and Didn't Get it

When a man has the expectation that a first date will culminate in a physical encounter, and it does not, he may choose to ghost you due to his disappointment.

However, even if a physical encounter does occur on the first date, it is still possible for the man to ghost you for other reasons.

If a man finds a woman's level of sexual assertiveness or submissiveness to be overwhelming, or if he simply didn't enjoy the sexual experience, it could be a reason for him to ghost.

HOW TO STOP A GUY FROM GHOSTING AFTER A GOOD FIRST DATE

By being aware of the potential reasons for ghosting, even after a successful first date, you increase your chances of avoiding the situation and maintaining communication with your potential partner.

Here are a few things to keep in mind for your next first date with a new guy:

Stay present and engaged during the date and in your surroundings.

Limit discussion of personal issues during the date.

Be authentic and truthful with your date.

Avoid glossing over any negative or difficult topics.

Avoid making excuses or rationalizing any actions or behaviors.

Avoid apologizing for things that are not your responsibility.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Should i text a guy who ghosted me after the first date.

It is ultimately up to you to decide whether or not to reach out to a guy who disappeared after your first date. However, the signs seem to suggest that it's probably not a good idea. If he couldn't handle communication after the first date, what makes you think things will be different in the future?

What does ghosting say about a person?

Ghosting is a complex issue, and without the true reason, it is hard to determine their motives. It could be due to their self-centered nature or their fear of not being good enough for you. Regardless, ghosting can hurt one's mental health and self-esteem.

How long with no contact is considered ghosting?

It's possible that a lack of response after the first date within three days could indicate ghosting, but it's best to give it a full week before making any conclusions. There are various reasons why someone may not reply promptly, such as being busy, losing their phone, having service issues, or facing unexpected personal or work-related emergencies.

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Ghosted After the First Date: Why Dates Ghost & What You Need to Do

It seemed like a great time, so why did you get ghosted after the first date there are many possible reasons, but you have to keep things in perspective..

Dating in the modern world is very tricky. There are all these self-imposed rules people adhere to, just because a magazine or blog says to. Things keep getting complicated because of a lack of transparency. A lot of people can’t tell the difference between a sure thing and a bad date, so that’s why it’s hard to understand why you got ghosted after a first date.

For example, let’s say you go out on a date. Everything seems perfect—divine, even. You go home, you text your friends about it, and patiently wait for the call to seal the next date.

But the call never comes. You decide to call instead. After that, the defining moment of your recent date arrives. They don’t answer your call. AND they never call you back. Ever . What’s the next step?

[Read: Why being ghosted hurts so much and what you need to do about it]

Why are there people who don’t call back after dates?

Just to refresh your memory, ghosting is when a person you dated refuses to acknowledge your existence all of a sudden, without giving any explanation. Instead of explaining themselves, they completely ignore you and just pretend you don’t exist all of a sudden! 

This is what happened to you when your date refused to call you back. They ultimately decided the situation wasn’t to their liking, so they jumped ship without giving you any explanation. [Read: Haunting vs. ghosting – why haunting is so much worse in every way]

You might be asking yourself how a person could be so heartless. But on their end, they don’t feel any remorse. They actively avoid having to step up to their responsibility as a human being—which means being polite enough to say, “This isn’t going to work out.”

The problem is most people who ghost don’t even know that they’re doing it until it’s too late. The deed has been done. The sin has been committed. They did not call.

All that’s left to do is avoid you as much as possible, so no one calls them out on being the bad guy. Their actions say otherwise, but these types of people already decided they did nothing wrong, or that they’ll never be held accountable for what they’ve done. [Read: Being left on read – What it really means when they never text you back]

How does this affect you?

For one thing, being ghosted after the first date sucks. The situation is worse than it could have been, had the date gone badly or even neutrally.

Because your date was awesome, the disappointment in finding out the truth that absolutely don’t care about you is much more devastating. You were led to believe it was going somewhere.

Your expectations jumped through the roof, but quickly came crashing down without any explanation. Even if you wanted a reason or a last goodbye, there’s no guarantee you’d get it.

This leads to some people questioning their self-worth, or even blaming themselves for what happened. It’s a serious matter, because this cannot bode well for people who already have low self-esteem. 

If you are strong enough to get past it, you’ll end up thanking your lucky stars you did not end up with an inconsiderate, cruel partner. [Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]

What steps should you take if you’ve been ghosted after the first date?

Still, there’s a different side to the story… and it’s a side that may not involve you. The only way to get over it is to accept getting ghosted after a first date is that it’s an insignificant part of the dating game.

Some will turn out to be bad eggs—like those who don’t call back—but rest assured, sooner or later, you will find one willing to call you every day, just for the chance to hear your voice.

1. Call them out on their crappy behavior

People will do whatever they think they can get away with. So, if they think they can ghost you, they will. Heck, they’ve probably ghosted a lot of other people before, so they think it’s okay because no one held them accountable in the past. [Read: What is ghosting and how does it affect you?]

But you can be that person who does. The least you can do to help your fellow humans and make this person realize that what they did was wrong. True, it’s not your responsibility to change them, or anyone else for that matter. But you can at least point out that their behavior is unacceptable.

You need to text them and tell them that if they are not interested, then they should have just politely told you that so instead of disappearing. Point out how it’s not a respectful thing to do to another person. Be nice, though. You don’t want to stoop to their level.  

After that, move on and hope they change their ghosting ways. [Read: 15 solid ways to ghostbust a ghoster like a real badass]

2. Don’t say anything more than you need to

Don’t prolong the conversation. Just say what you need to say—how you felt about this rejection, for instance—and that you hope they don’t do it to anyone else.

You also don’t want to appear like you are too hurt after getting ghosted after the first date. If you come across as needy or like you’re groveling, that is very unattractive. And it might even reinforce that they did the right thing by ghosting you.

Instead, you need to be a class act. You want them to feel guilty about their bad behavior, but not by being mean or using words that would hurt them.

You merely don’t want them to do the same thing to someone else in the future. Just be firm and stand in your truth. Project your self-confidence to them. [Read: Why ghosters always come back – How to understand the mind of a ghoster]

3. Don’t sugarcoat the truth

They did not call back. They don’t like you enough to call back. This is a clear and direct rejection. You got ghosted after the first date. Thinking it’s something else only gives you false hope.

Too many times, people will lie to themselves. They think maybe their date will call soon. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. You could say to yourself that they are too busy, so that’s why they don’t want a relationship with you.

But face the truth. It’s difficult to do that because it hurts our self-esteem. No one likes rejection, do we? Of course not! But the sooner you just accept that they don’t want to date you, the sooner you can move past this. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 real reasons why guys turn into cowardly pricks]

4. Don’t make excuses

Don’t make excuses for a person who’s not willing to explain their actions by ghosting you. You don’t know what they’re thinking… and no amount of features really tell you why they didn’t call. [Read: How to recognize and stop selfish people from hurting you]

It’s very typical for people to make excuses. Women in particular are really good at making up stories in their heads about why their date hasn’t called back yet to ask for another date. Sorry ladies, not to pick on you all, but you know it’s true!

Making excuses for someone else’s behavior is a form of lying to yourself. You are just inventing reasons that probably don’t exist to make yourself feel better. When you do this, you think it’s not your fault *which it probably isn’t*. But it doesn’t help you accept the truth.

Listen… if someone wanted to be with you you, they would – they would not have ghosted you after the first date.

People want what they want. They will not avoid you if they want to be with you. It sounds obvious, but some people just don’t get it regardless of how obvious it is. [Read: Why is he ignoring me? 22 answers before you make up your mind]

5. Don’t dissect what you did wrong

You may have made a mistake, but maybe you didn’t! Focusing on your shortcomings only lets your date get away with what they did. Whatever it is that turned them off is something you need to deal with on your own, without the influence of a good date gone bad.

In fact, you probably didn’t do anything wrong at all!

So, if you are going over the details of the date again and again and again about why you got ghosted after the first date, you will never come up with an answer for what the problem was. Heck, maybe your date doesn’t even know what it is. [Read: Guys who ghost and come back – how to handle the zombies of dating]

You see, sometimes it all comes down to a feeling. Maybe your date just didn’t “feel” it. They thought you were a great person, but maybe overall, something just felt off. And that’s okay.

Think about it – you’re not friends with everyone in the world, right? That’s because you don’t click with everyone. The same is true for dating.

6. Focus on yourself and other activities

Rather than waste time thinking about why someone didn’t call you back, focus more on making yourself happy.

Spoil yourself. Go get a manicure and pedicure. You could get a massage. Treat yourself to something that makes you happy so you can get your mind off of getting ghosted. [Read: The meaning of YOLO: 15 ways to live life to your fullest]

You could also try to improve yourself. No one is perfect, and everyone can do things better. Whether it’s losing weight, working out, getting a new haircut, trying some more makeup… it doesn’t matter.

Focus on other stuff as well. You could even start a new hobby to make yourself a more well-rounded person. The point is focus on yourself… and not the creep who ghosted you after a first date! The only way to stop thinking about something inconsequential is to think about something that’s worth your time and brain cells.

7. Put it into perspective

Getting rejected is never fun for anyone, but we have all been through it. It’s just part of life. So, you need to put everything into perspective in order to feel better and move on from this person who ghosted you. [Read: Are you being ignored after sex? The truth behind ghosting after sex]

First, don’t take it personally. It’s not you. In fact, you should be thankful that this person ditched you. That might sound like a strange thing to say, but they probably did you a favor.

If someone is such a coward that they can’t politely tell you that they are not interested in dating you, then you don’t want to be with someone like that anyway. Do you? Of course, you don’t!

Think about it this way. Now you have the opportunity to have the right person come into your life. If you were dating that person who ghosted you, then you wouldn’t have the space in your life to meet the perfect person for you. [Read: Why you need to stop texting first if you want to enjoy dating]

8. Let it go

Learn from getting ghosted after the first date, and then let it go. It’s not easy for some, but it is always possible. If it feels difficult, ask for help. Your friends and family will be more than happy to support you. [Read: Too good to be true? How to tell if you’re dating a phony]

Find a way to move on that works for you. Each person has their own way of coping. As long as it’s not harmful or risky, you should choose a method that helps you move on as quickly as possible from this incident.

It may be traveling, spending time with friends and family, or putting more positive energy into your work.

If you need to, you can even delete and block this person from your life. It might make you feel better if you are having a problem with it. Numbers, social media accounts, text messages—delete them all. It won’t make you forget, but it gives you a sense of freedom and control. [Read: The power trip – Is the psychology of blocking someone all about your ego?]

How to handle it after getting ghosted after a first date?

Just because it happened once, does not mean it can’t happen again. Dating will always be complicated, but make it easier by being honest and by looking at the positive side of things.

And just remember, it’s not always you. Sometimes, people are shitty and are dealing with their own shit. If they decide to ghost you after the first date without a single text that takes a few seconds to type, it speaks more about them than you. [Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – why we do it and ways to fix it]

1. If it happens again, you know what to do

Read the steps listed above. Read them over and over until they sink in. Hopefully, you won’t be ghosted again, but it could happen. But now you know what to do and how to handle it. Also, you will just be more mentally prepared to deal with it next time.

2. Check for a pattern

If it happens too often, you might want to re-evaluate your situation. You may be doing something wrong or choosing the same type of person over and over again.

It’s always best to do some inner reflection and see how you can improve yourself, too. [Read: What to do when a guy doesn’t text back – Don’t panic and don’t stoop with these steps]

3. Find out if you have unresolved issues with yourself

Sometimes, people who fail at dating are those who have personal problems that affect their other relationships. Find out if you’re happy with who you are now, before trying to find happiness with somebody else.

[Read: How to turn down a second date – A non-awkward way to do it just right]

Although it hurts being ghosted after the first date, you probably aren’t the problem. Instead, you wound up going out with someone immature and inconsiderate. Using the tips above, overcome the pain of rejection, confront the ghoster, and make sure your heart doesn’t suffer again.

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What To Do If You’re Ghosted Before The First Date

•   6 Shares

Do you find that you keep being ghosted before the first date? You match with someone, you think there’s good conversation, you make arrangements to see the person, only for them to stop replying. You ask if the date is still going ahead… nothing. Silence. 

Been in that position before? Had that happen again? Unsure what to think or do? Well here’s what to do if you’re ghosted before the first date.

Why You’ve Been Ghosted Before The First Date

Being ghosted before the first date can be pretty confusing. It’s like, did you actually ever want to meet me? Actually have any intention of meeting me? Why did we even make plans?

Mind-boggling I know. So before we look at what to do if you’ve been ghosted before the first date, let’s try to better make sense of it – why it’s happened.

See the reasons can vary far and wide, but generally speaking, if he’s ghosted you before you’ve even had chance to meet, it’s usually because:

1) He doesn’t know what he wants.

You’ve had good conversations, he’s been enjoying getting to know you, but he’s not in the best place mentally, he’s not really ready to date and so he’s got cold feet, backed out – but didn’t have the courage to tell you.

2) He’s lost his nerve.

He could also be new to dating, or anxious about dating. So although he wants to meet you, his worries are taking over, and again – he’s wimped out!

3) The conversation kind of died.

It could also be that – when you initially spoke about the date – the conversation was flowing smoothly, freely, but it’s kind of dried up. Maybe he’s not as sure about you anymore, not as sure about the date in general, so he’s changed his mind and gone cold.

4) He could already be involved with someone else.

It could also be that he’s already with someone else – if not in a relationship, then dating. Things have progressed or guilt has caught up with him. He doesn’t know how to tell you, so instead of being honest, he’s just blanked you instead.

5) He got busy, real busy.

Busyness is often seen as an excuse and you could argue, “you can make time for anyone if you really want.” But it could be that things are going on in his life right now, something new has cropped up, and his priorities have changed.

He’s not intentionally ghosting you but you’re not really on his radar anymore, so the conversation has slipped into nothingness and the date has been cancelled – without him actually having the decency to say!

6) He’s not who he said he is.

Now we’ve got to raise the fact that he may not want to meet you because actually, he’s not who he says he is. He could be a catfish ( click here for the signs ) or has simply been blagging things to try to impress you. Maybe he’s using old photos, looks different to how he’s presented himself and feels embarrassed.

7) He had no intention of meeting at all.

I hate to say it, and I can’t say I even understand it – but there are time wasters lurking on dating apps. These are guys who will chat, who will invest their time in you, but it’s really only for their own validation, ego-boost or “company.” They therefore will message but never meet, and that’s just the way it goes!

What To Do If You’ve Been Ghosted Before The First Date

So what do you do if you’ve been ghosted before the first date? Well, what can you do but accept it? It sucks. It’s frustrating. I get it, I know. But it is what it is. Just remember – it’s not actually anything to take personally and is no reflection on you.

Some articles that will help you here:

• What To Do When He Leaves You On Read
• How To Deal With Being Ghosted
• What To Say To Someone Who’s Ghosted You
• How To Gain Closure After Being Ghosted ( the big one!)
• What To Do If You Feel Unwanted
• How To Deal With Feeling Rejected

Have a read through them. Click on what you need. Because these articles have been hand-crafted for dealing in these situations, so they have everything you need to know and do within them.

Also make sure you take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You’re allowed to be upset by this. You’re allowed to be affected. So, feel your emotions , be your own best friend, but then decide to pick yourself up and brush yourself off because girl – you cannot let this beat you!

Do You Say Anything, Or Just Not Reply?

So you understand why he’s ghosted you, you get that it’s not on you, maybe you’ve read a few articles now, to better get your head around it.

But you’re still left with the question of – do you message the guy if you’ve been ghosted before your first date? Do you call him out on it? Ask what the deal is?

Well, that’s entirely up to you. If you weren’t speaking frequently before and it’s just kind of fizzled out, perhaps there’s no need. But the more connection you thought you had, the more it hurt, the more likely you’ll want to say something.

Just know that when you do message – you’re not messaging with the hope of getting a response. Also, it’s unlikely that they’d give any valid reason for ghosting you before the first date anyway.

I mean, even if something has happened – could they really have not had the decency to keep you in the loop and say?

So – if they do reply, know that it’s not going to change the situation. You’re not being messed around . You deserve better than that. And you certainly, certainly shouldn’t wait for a reply.

In fact, assume you won’t get one. Send it, then delete the chat. Out of sight, out of mind.

You’re sending this text for a bit of finality. You’re sending this text as it will tie into your closure, it will enable you to really close that door on any possibility of progressing things further with this mystery stranger. And again, you’re doing it purely for you, not them .

So how could you phrase it? What kind of thing could you say? Well here’s a few templates to make it easier…

What To Say If He Ghosted You Before The First Date

When you message him after he’s ghosted you, try to keep it short, to the point, and simply acknowledge what has happened. That’s all you need to do . 

You can add as much or as little sass as you want / need. Less is typically best – but it depends on what’s happened, as if he’s really treated you like a “mug”, you may want to show him you’re not someone to be walked all over… not because it matters, but it will help you “put this to bed” with your head held high.

So, you could say something like…

• Okay, so I assume our date now isn’t going ahead? If you weren’t feeling it anymore, all you had to do was say, you know? There wouldn’t have been any hard feelings!
• Well, I don’t know why you’ve suddenly decided to ghost me. So not cool. But that’s your issue, not mine. Good luck. Hope you start to learn how to treat people properly!
• Damnnn, and to think I thought you were actually a [appropriate word here.] Little pointer: don’t waste people’s time if you have no intention of actually dating. We’re not here just for your sense of validation!

You don’t want to come across as bitter or angry, but to be honest – it doesn’t really matter what you say, because this is it with them anyway. As long as it’s short, snappy, gets off your chest how you feel (in a concise way – no rambling please!), then that’s great.

Recommended Read: How To Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You

How To Stop Being Ghosted Before The First Date

So what can you do moving forward to reduce your chances of being ghosted before the first date? Well:

1) Meet Faster

If you match with someone, you’re “vibing” them, they’ve stirred up your interest and you want to know more, then the best thing you can do, is get organising that date. The sooner the better.

Yes, you want to qualify them to the degree of – you know they don’t have any of your deal-breakers. But the rest? That can be saved for in person.

By doing this, not only do you save time by finding out faster if there’s something there, but you can also see if they’re going to “beat around the bush” and try to avoid that date.

If for any reason they do also ghost you before the first date, it won’t then feel like such a waste of time – because it won’t have been much time!

2) Build More of a Connection

On the flip side, although you want to move it from match to date faster, you still need to build enough interest and intrigue from their side.

If they feel like they don’t know you, then they’ll feel like they don’t owe you anything. And so ghosting you – for whatever reason – won’t be such a big deal.

So you want to show what you’re all about, don’t just ask the standard questions – really get a bit more there BEFORE you see each other, so that cancelling a date, let alone ghosting is not even an option!

Recommended Read: What To Do If He Cancels Your Date

3) Speak On The Phone

On that note, if you want to build a better bond before the date, without spending hours of time texting back and forth, then why not jump on a call?

Voicenotes are also good for this – but nothing beats that actual on-phone interaction.

It also gives you a better idea of what the date will be like then and gives you a little more confidence that you probably will be meeting who you think you will be.

Know That You’re Not Alone

Getting ghosted before the first date, sucks. Especially when you were enjoying getting to know this person and you thought they had potential.

But just know that things like this – they happen to the best of us. It’s nothing on you, or actually even, to do with you. So try not to take it to heart.

Although it kind of hurts, this person who’s ghosted you has actually done you a favour. They’ve shown their true colours. They’ve saved you time in meeting them, only to find out they’re as flakey as a Cadbury’s flake! So be thankful. This is a blessing in disguise!

From here, take a break from dating if you need , keep those spirits high and try to stay motivated when it comes to dating . You should also check out this article for the best dating apps to find love (because some are certainly more effective than others- and full of better quality people!)

The right person – they’re still out there. This guy? He just clearly wasn’t it.

So onwards and upwards my friends. Take care!

Love, Ell_xx

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Relationships

Ghosted after a first date.

Brightstar29 · 20/03/2022 08:35

I met this guy a few weeks ago on a night out, so not through old which makes a change from the norm these days. So we had already spoken in person and knew there was attraction there. From then we were sending each other about 5-10 text messages per day and met up a couple of nights ago at a casual pub for food and drinks on his suggestion. I offered to pay my half for things but he wouldn’t have it and insisted on paying. Had a really good time, we both agreed there was a connection and lots of flirting too, both agreed we wanted to meet up again and ended with a kiss. Since then however radio silence from him. I sent a text yesterday saying thanks for the night I had a really nice time but no response which I find rude. I know yesterday wasn’t long ago but normally replies would be quicker so it’s a change in pattern. I just find it very strange, my only theory is that maybe he just wanted one thing and didn’t get it straight away (he’s not long out of a serious relationship), I’m not opposed to having something casual but I still prefer to get to know someone a bit before I jump into bed with them. Rationally I know it’s probably not anything to do with me but still a bit damaging to my ego.

Possibly, some guys just like the thrill of a date and don't want anything more, or he's indecisive about you for some reason, backed off because it's requires effort. It's his turn to message, so just leave it, don't get too invested in this.

@iwishu no I won’t it’s just I find it rude that’s all, wish he had made his intentions more clear straight away

My money would be on only wanted one thing too. He probably did have a good night, but then maybe found someone who puts out a bit quicker.

Or he is dating various people?

Is that being ghosted? Or is it just going on a date that didn’t work out for one of the people. Rude not to reply, but it was just one date!

He didn't know what his intentions were before the date. I agree that for whatever reason he's decided that he's not certain about you now. He liked you enough to want to ask you out, but something wasn't what he thought it would be. It is a bit cowardly not to be able to say ''i'm going to leave it here'' but then spelling that out can seem arrogant, after one date. I've agonised over this myself. Do you tell somebody you only went on one date with that you don't want a second? Or is that presumptuous? Women always feel they fall short in these shitty situations but you never know, he could have felt your family was too perfect/rich/qualified and thought, I can't relax around this. Or you indicated a high bar in some area and he thought, oh right so I can't treat you shabbily while i make up my mind. Don't go in to that spiral where you think YOU fell short. Maybe he wants somebody who won't highlight his own shortcomings who'll allow him to mess her around a bit while he keeps his options open. Maybe. It's not about your shortcomings.

Maybe he just didn’t feel a spark on the actual date?

I had this too recently. Absolutely fantastic first date, loads of chemistry. Lots of him staring into my eyes telling me how wonderful I am & he couldn't believe his luck... I had a phone call from him when I got home telling me he couldn't wait to see me again, it was his birthday the following week & he asked if he could spend it with me.. Had one more phone call & a couple of further messages, then absolutely nothing! Lol. Totally baffling why they do it X

I wouldn't advise casual unless you actually want casual. I've made that mistake where I've allowed men to treat me as an option but it's not what I really wanted. I do think its rude to just ignore you and doesn't say much about him if he can't find the balls to just politely say, thank you but you're not for me, how hard is that?

I get that about maybe he didn’t feel the spark on actual date but in that case why say he wants a second date with me and ask what I would like to do on that date? We didn’t set one in stone just talked casually about it. He’s not long out of a serious relationship so he may not want serious and I would have actually been ok with that because of where I’m at myself at the moment. I think I mostly find it rude he didn’t reply to my “thanks for a great night” text.

“Had a really good time, we both agreed there was a connection and lots of flirting too, both agreed we wanted to meet up again and ended with a kiss.” Did he say he felt a connection and then you agreed that you did too? Did you lean in for the kiss first or did he?

@Derelicthome he leaned in for the kiss first. Can’t remember who said first about the connection as was a bit tipsy at that point

If he's just out of a serious relationship I think it's likely it's something to do with that. Maybe he's not over her, or he went on a date to make her jealous or to see what it was like dating someone else. But it's a waste of time trying to work it out. Unless he tells you, you'll never know.

I do think if he was the one instigating the kiss then perhaps he was just after one thing. In any case you are well rid. I’m glad he showed you what he was really like early rather than leading you on.

I meant to say that I’m glad you got to see his true character early on rather than waste anymore time on him. Ghosting is definitely rude.

I’m not really getting how you can be so invested after one date! I don’t even think this counts as ghosting. You met once, he wasn’t feeling it, he stopped contacting you. After one date, I don’t think he’s required to provide any additional explanation. Not wanting further contact isn’t rude, it’s sending a clear message.

I don't think it's ghosting either

It's like jobs you go for that never send rejection emails. Just rude really. And it's keeping you in the back pocket as they never actually said they were not interested so in theory could come back in the future (in their minds)

@burnoutbabe

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron “Rationally I know it’s probably not anything to do with me but still a bit damaging to my ego” seems overly invested to me.

People are being a bit harsh. It wasn't just one date was it really, they met "a few weeks ago" and sent "5-10 texts daily". Then eventually met up again. She has been in touch with him for weeks, everyday. It's not the same as going on just one date. OP I can see why you got invested 🤷‍♀️ I have no idea why he ghosted you but just block and move on. Honestly people are strange.

@writergirl007 I don’t think an actual message is required after one date. They met up and he doesn’t appear to be interested, so there has been no further contact. I think that’s very straightforward, perfectly fine and not rude at all.

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3 Common Reasons (+Fix) She Is Ghosting You After First Date

Vanished without a trace.

She seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.

You have already been on one date together (or maybe even more)—perhaps you’ve even slept with each other—and everything seemed fine.

But now she’s replying to neither your messages nor your calls.

‘What the hell is wrong with her?’ you ask yourself as giant self-doubts fill your skull:

• “Have I done something wrong?”
• “Am I not good enough for her anymore?“
• “Does she think that I’m not attractive anymore?”

Take a deep breath, bro, and read this article before you jump off a cliff like a depressed dove.

Because, here I show you:

• Ghosting after date decoded: What the heck is hidden behind that term anyway
• The 3 real reasons why she no longer contacts you
• What to say to someone who ghosted you?
• My #1 secret tip on how to deal with ghosting after a date
• And much more…

What does ghosting mean in dating?

The year is 2014.

For the first time in world history, renowned newspapers such as the New York Times , the Huffington Post and the Independent are using a dubious term in connection with breakups of celebrated couples:

But what the hell is behind this ‘spooky’ term?

Well, the solution to the riddle is hidden in the word.

‘Culprits’ of ghosting literally turn into apparitions, as if they borrowed Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak.

• Doesn’t respond to your messages or phone calls.
• Avoids contact with you.
• Leaves you in complete uncertainty as to why she abruptly cut off contact with you.

But what makes a person behave so diabolically towards you?

Sherlock Dan explains.

>> If She Doesn’t Text Back Is She Not Interested? (+ 5 Repairing Texts).

Reason #1: She’s testing you

Whether on television, in the cinema, or on Netflix, you see the same drama in every romantic comedy.

She breaks up with him.

He wants her back.

She doesn’t give a damn about him.

He sends her 300 bouquets in hopes of winning her back.

But she already has another fish on her rod and ignores him as if he’s invisible to her.

However, after 20 years, 5 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days of 24/7 unrequited advances, a miracle happens.

She realizes that it has been him all along.

The one, her great, true love…

They elope to L.A. and are married by a fake Elvis.

What a happy ending…

I just can’t repress it anymore, bro.

Fairytale love stories like that make me puke more than the exorcist Linda Blair from Scary Movie …

They are simply UNREALISTIC.

How would you feel if a rabid ADHD chimpanzee was in your grill all the f*cking time?

Probably pressured and harassed.

Ironically, 95% of all men act the same way when their chosen one starts to ignore them.

>> When To Breakup and When To Stay? 6 Revealing Questions Tell All.

They are not aware that they’re only achieving one thing with their moves:

They exude bottomless neediness and disgust their beloved more than Slimer from Ghostbusters .

An attractive woman knows countless ways to separate the wheat (an alpha male) from the chaff (an unattractive people pleaser who has no boundaries and puts the needs of others above his own).

One of her methods is ghosting.

She can also use it to test how well you hold your temper.

• Do you become needy and try, desperately, to force a response non-stop?
• Do you react angrily and leave hundreds of hate messages on her answering machine?
• Or: Do you keep your cool, try to contact her once or twice, but then leave it at that?

Obviously, the last way is the smartest.

Because you sub-communicate two crucial attractive traits with this behavior:

• Independence: Even if your lady leaves you, you trust that you have other beautiful women waiting in line to meet you.
• Emotional strength: Of course, it feels strange for you when someone leaves you without a word, but you know damn well that you can still meet wonderful women any time—many who are probably an even better match.

So, calm down. Don’t expect too much from her, and give her space.

The contactless time is also an excellent opportunity to improve your life !

Reason #2: Her emotions toward you have changed

For most men, women can occasionally be more puzzling than a Rubik’s Cube.

For example, when they tell you that ‘everything is fine’ even though it’s obvious that they are seething with rage inside.

It’s also possible that:

You date, maybe have hot sex , maybe even end up in a relationship, and then she suddenly breaks off contact with you from one day to the next.

The reason for her asshole move may be that something in her has changed.

Specifically…

… her emotions .

Perhaps her feelings toward you have changed, and she no longer thinks that you’re interesting.

Maybe she was attracted to you at the beginning of your dates, but then, after a while, she discovered that you’re not a good match for her.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Rather, she sees something in you that she can’t get anything out of.

Maybe she doesn’t want a relationship right now, while you’re pining for one.

Why doesn’t she just say that to your face?

Because she might not have the guts to do so.

She’s afraid of breaking your heart in a conversation and thinks that she will cause you less pain by just canceling contact with you.

Of course, what she achieves with her ghosting action is, instead, the absolute opposite.

Countless studies have proven:

Icy social rejection activates the same pain centers in our brain as real physical injuries.

>> 7 Ways to Be More Masculine: Feel Great and More Attractive.

“I see, Dan. What can I do in this situation if I feel terrible?”

Don’t worry, bro.

I know how endlessly shitty it can feel to be abandoned and coldly dumped.

Fortunately, I’ve written an article in which I show you, step-by-step, how to overcome your heartache.

You can find it here.

Good luck with that.

Reason #3: You didn’t seduce her properly

The sun shines stronger than a lit sparkler.

The clear waves of the lake, together with the ducks that swim in them, sing the melody of summer.

It’s August 2014.

Past-Dan is at an electro festival.

Hazel brown hair, ocean blue eyes and a black leather leggings that accentuate her long, athletic legs.

Among all the women dressed in sexy hot pants, she stands out.

We keep eye contact and smile at each other.

The 2014-Dan is too shy to approach her.

She, on the other hand, is brave, slightly drunk and comes toward me.

Hanna is her name.

We strike up a conversation and dance together.

At the fireworks, at the end of the electro festival, we start kissing passionately and exchange numbers.

‘Hallelujah!’ I thought to myself, excited by the dates to follow.

Date #1: Picnic in the park.

Date #2: Cocktails in a café.

Date #3: On the other hand, should never see the light of day.

What was the matter?

After the second date, Hanna decided to never contact me again.

I was devastated and had no idea what I was doing wrong…

…until the day I discovered that seducing women is a skill that can be learned and improved.

The result of my self-reflection:

My seduction skills were less refined than Pinocchio’s truth-telling skills.

And THIS EXACTLY can also be the reason why your lady breaks off contact with you abruptly.

A beautiful woman will not simply coldly dump a man if he is self-confident and knows how to deal with her.

Brilliant date ideas , being able to read female body psychology and also an excellent Tinder profile —none of these will get you very far if you don’t even know how to seduce a woman properly.

“How the f*ck do I seduce a woman properly anyway, Dan?”

I was hoping you’d ask me that, bro.

How to bust ghosting

I’m going to reveal my top tips to end the torment of women ghosting you after the (first) date.

Are you ready for this? And completely willing to change your love life for the best? Being able to take into your own hands.

Grab my free Transformation Kit.

It’s the #1 ghosting buster.

Because in it are my masterclasses on texting, dating and seduction.

The three pillars to attract girls wildly, so they rather want to be around you forever, than ghost you once.

Have fun with it!

Your bro, Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

• 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
• 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
• The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick

Related articles

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• 3 Main Reasons She Ignores You (+ How to Fix it TODAY)

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• Keeping Her Interested by Being Interesting – 9 Timeless Tips

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Ghosting Help

Been Ghosted? The Ultimate Resource on Ghosting

Ghosted After A Year Of Dating? Your Burning Questions Answered.

Updated 7th September 2023

Why getting ghosted after a year of dating really sucks

Why was i ghosted after a year of dating, why did he/she ghost me instead of breaking up with me properly, should i ask them why they ghosted me, i thought he/she had feelings for me, did i imagine the whole thing, even though he/she ghosted me, i really miss them. what can i do, even though i was ghosted after a year of dating, i still care about him/her and want to know if they are ok. should i reach out, will they come back, i was ghosted after a year of dating and am struggling to get over it. what can i do.

If you’ve been ghosted after a year of dating, this may have come as a huge shock. Getting ghosted is most common during the early stages of dating when two people are still getting to know each other. Nowadays, with ghosting being so common, people are often prepared for the possibility that they may get ghosted. However, most people will not anticipate getting ghosted after a full year of dating. After dating someone for so long, being ghosted will inevitably leave one very hurt. It will also result in many unanswered questions, making it difficult to gain closure.

First and foremost, remember: ghosting someone after a year of dating is NOT a respectful or appropriate way to end a relationship.

Getting ghosted sucks in general. No one likes being ghosted unless they did not really like the other person to begin with, in which case, it probably doesn’t matter. However, if you’ve been dating someone for a full year, this is likely a relationship that you’ve invested a great deal of time and emotion into. Whether or not this was an ‘official’ relationship or not, you would certainly have developed a bond with this person.

After a year of dating you probably would have developed strong feelings for this person

It’s only normal that after spending a year dating someone that one would end up putting trust into the other person and caring for them. If you were ghosted after a year of dating and you wanted the relationship to continue, it would likely have hit you quite hard.

Being ghosted after a year of dating is completely different to being ghosted after a few dates. This person was a part of your life.

Being ghosted by someone you’ve only met a few times may not leave one feeling great. However, at least they are not part of your life in a big way. After dating someone for a year, it’s likely you are used to having someone who’s there for you and quite involved in your life.

You may feel very confused after being ghosted after a year of dating

Being ghosted after a year of dating may leave you feeling confused or even blindsided. It’s truly a difficult situation to be in. On one hand, you may feel rejected and angry that they ghosted you without any explanation. However, you may still have love for them and miss their company dearly. You might be wondering if it’s something you did that caused them to ghost. Or, you may even be trying to justify their behaviour because you still love them.

Being ghosted after a year of dating can create all kinds of problems, such as:

• Causing you a great deal of psychological pain as you are emotionally invested
• Feeling rejected by someone you have deep feelings for
• Your daily life becoming more demanding e.g. managing daily jobs alone, eating alone
• Feeling lonely and potentially isolated
• Your self-esteem taking a huge hit
• Making you question the entire relationship given that you dated for an entire year
• Feeling blindsided by the other person
• Making you question or blame yourself (“how did I not see this coming?” or “how did I not see what kind of person they were after a year of dating?”)

Here are some common questions asked by people who have been ghosted after a year of dating.

Unfortunately, there’s no simple answer. If you were ghosted after a year of dating, it’s clear that this person no longer wanted to be with you. Bear in mind that a year of dating is a significant length of time in which someone can decide whether the relationship has long-term potential.

Here are some reasons as to why you may have been ghosted after a year of dating:

• They grew out of the relationship
• They felt that after a year of dating, your relationship had no future
• The two of you had conflict that could not be resolved
• They had ongoing issues with your behaviour
• They met someone else
• They were keeping you around as a backup
• They did not love you
• Their family did not approve of you

Many people who ghost do so because they feel it’s an ‘easier’ way of ending a relationship. They can avoid the heartbreak and awkwardness of breaking up in person. By ghosting someone, they do not need to deal with your reaction, your feelings or your questions. The possible reasons are wide-ranging and include:

• They simply did not care enough to have the decency to break up with you in person
• They did something dishonest and did not have the guts to admit it to you
• They are avoidant and hate dealing with the emotions and drama of breaking up
• They are insensitive and narcissistic therefore did not care about how ghosting may affect you
• They were upset about something and ghosted intentionally to hurt you
• They thought that ghosting you would cause you less pain than breaking up in person

Presumably, this person has already left you on read for one or several messages, which is how you concluded that you’d been ghosted. Unfortunately, if the other person has cut off all communication completely, it will be difficult to gain any kind of meaningful answer as to why they ghosted you. If you simply cannot figure out why they ghosted you may have many question marks in your head.

You have two options:

Option a. ask them why they ghosted you after a year of dating.

If you do decide to ask why they ghosted, there is a small possibility they will respond. However, realize that this person has already proved themselves to be unreliable. They are not willing to communicate honestly and openly with you. Even if they reply, it’s unlikely their response will answer all the questions in your head and allow you to gain closure.

If you do ask why they ghosted, do not expect them to reply. Chances are, they’ll simply leave you on read again. Furthermore, by asking, you may end up feeling even more frustrated and disappointed than by leaving things be. It might be tempting to keep messaging until they respond. This is likely going to be a waste of time.

Option B. Leave things be

Instead of trying to force answers out of them, you may wish to walk away from the situation and focus on healing. This is a good option as it’s already clear that your ghoster does not want a relationship with you. Why do you need to spend anymore time communicating with them? Remember, this person did not even respect you enough to tell you to your face that they wanted to break up after a full year of dating. This person is not worthy of a place in your life.

Option C. Send a final message to your ghoster that closes the chapter on your relationship

Instead of asking them why they ghosted, you may wish to send a final message to your ghoster that gives you a sense of closure. You can say goodbye to your ghoster and keep your head held up high. You may find the following article helpful:

• 6 High Value Responses to Ghosting That Tell Your Ghoster You Are Better Off Without Them

They may have been into you in the beginning but lost interest

A year is quite a long time to be in a relationship with someone. Clearly, the other person did have some feelings for you otherwise it would have been impossible to stay with you for so long. However, relationships are dynamic and often change over time. it’s possible their feelings dwindled towards the end of the relationship, which is why they wanted to end things.

Was it a relationship of convenience for them?

Alternatively, they may have spent one year dating you because it was convenient for them. They may have just wanted to be in a relationship because they didn’t want to be single. Or, they may have been happy to keep you around as a backup while scouting out other options.

Related: Cushioning In Dating: The Tell-Tale Signs

It’s remotely possible that they do love you but for some reason they were unable to continue the relationship with you. However, this is very unlikely.

It is possible that there were extraordinary reasons preventing them from continuing the relationship with you despite them having strong feelings for you. However, it’s not a good idea to assume this. If this was the case, why didn’t they explain their reasons for ending the relationship instead of ghosting? Most of the time, someone who ghosts after a year of dating is NOT going to be deeply in love with you. It really does not make that much sense.

It’s understandable that you miss the person you spent the last year dating, even if they ended things by ghosting you. You may have enjoyed a lot of special moments together and they might have been a part of your daily life. It’s not going to be easy to switch off your emotions and stop missing them just like that. However, there are several steps you can take to help you stop missing them:

• Remove reminders of them e.g. belongings, photos or even delete them from your social media accounts
• Whenever you find yourself missing them, instead focus on the fact that they were not the right person for you. Someone who is compatible with you will not suddenly disappear after a year of dating.
• Even if you’re not in the mood to be social, being around good people will help you fill up the time that you previously spent with him/her and, over time, you will miss them less

Related: I Miss The Guy Who Ghosted Me, Help! Here’s How To Deal.

If you still care about the man or woman who ghosted you after a year of dating, it may be tempting to contact them. Perhaps, even though they caused you pain by ghosting you, you may empathize with them. You may even have some idea as to why to they ghosted instead of breaking up with you properly. However, bear in mind the following: this person does not want to communicate with you. Furthermore, how much did they care about your feelings when they ghosted you?

Remember that this person does not want to have a relationship with you. They are not interested in your well-being. Nor do they need you checking in with them. There is little to be achieved by reaching out to someone who does not want you in their life. You are no longer in a relationship with them and their well-being is no longer your business.

Understandably, you might be wondering whether this person will come back into your life. If you still have feelings for them, you probably miss them a lot and are sad that the relationship is over. Even if you are angry and have already written off any possibility of being with them again, you might still be curious as to whether they will return.

Sometimes, ghosters do become zombies and reach out to the person they ghosted. They might end up missing the person they ghosted and regret ghosting. Or, they may simply be bored one day and send some flakey message that means nothing. They might even wish you happy birthday. However, what does it matter? For all you know, they’ll ghost you a second time.

Instead of wondering if they will come back, focus on your life without them

Do you really want to spend your time wondering if someone who treated you disrespectfully and doesn’t want to be with you is going to come back? Understandably, you may be unable to stop yourself wondering. However, you’re far better off wondering how to fill your time with fun and productive activities that have nothing to do with them.

Related: The Guy Who Ghosted Me Wished Me Happy Birthday. What Does He Want?

• Accept that the relationship is over. Even though you dated for a year and they were a significant part of your life, you are no longer together. They are not coming back.
• Give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to vent your heartbreak to friends, then do so. If you feel you need professional help then you may consider seeing a therapist or counsellor.
• Stop questioning what happened and why. You will never fully understand what happened and why they ghosted you. Realize that this person who you dated for year was heartless to ghost you without explanation.
• Remind yourself that this person does not love you or care about you. By ghosting you, they proved that they are not the person you thought they were. They are absolutely not worth your heartache.
• Build up your life without them. Find new ways of occupying any free time you now have. Hang out with friends and family more. Invest time into doing things that make you happy. Be open-minded about meeting new people. Don’t look back at what happened during your relationship and focus on the future ahead of you.

Enjoyed this article? You may also find these articles useful:

• 5 Reasons Ghosting Is Cowardly When It Comes To Dating
• Here’s How To Apply The No Contact Rule After Being Ghosted
• Should I Block The Guy Who Ghosted Me? This Is How To Decide.
• Wondering How To Make Him Text You After Ghosting? 3 Reasons Why This Is Pointless.

You might also like

“He Said He Liked Me Then Ghosted Me.” 3 Reasons Why Guys Do This.

Experienced An Aquarius Ghosting And Coming back? Here’s Why.

Keep Getting Ghosted in Dating? Here’s Why.

Ghosted After First Date: Handle It Like a Boss!

Categories Love & Relationships

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Ghosted after first date?

You finally score a first date with the Cutie McSingleton you’ve been eyeing for weeks.

The two of you hit it off immediately and have a great time.

You part ways with a hug and plan to see each other again soon.

But then…nothing.

They don’t text you back, they don’t answer your calls, and they disappear off the face of the earth.

You’ve been ghosted!

What is Ghosting?

Ghosting is when someone you’ve been dating suddenly stops responding to your text messages, answering your calls, and disappears from your life with no warning.

It’s like being dumped without the closure of a breakup conversation.

The problem with ghosting is that it leaves you confused, upset, and maybe guilty and remorseful for something you didn’t do.

But don’t despair!

There are a few things you can do if you find yourself ghosted after first date.

But first, why do people ghost after the first date?

1. They’re not interested in you

Someone may ghost you if they simply aren’t interested in you and don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you straight out.

2. They’re not ready for a relationship

Maybe they just got out of a long-term relationship and aren’t looking to jump into another one so soon.

So they may ghost you after the first date if you made it clear you’re looking for something serious.

3. They’re scared of commitment

It could be that they’re just looking for a fling and not ready to get attached and settle down.

So they may ghost you after the first date especially if the date ended in the bedroom.

4. They’re not over their ex

Or it could be that they’re still hung up on their ex and aren’t ready to move on.

If they’re still thinking about their ex, they’re not going to be able to give you the attention and commitment you deserve.

5. They’re busy/have a lot going on in their life

It’s also possible that they’re just really busy with work, school, or other life’s demands, and don’t have the time to pursue a relationship.

6. They’re not good at communicating

Some people just aren’t good at communicating their feelings and may have a hard time telling you that they’re not interested. So instead of telling you how they feel, they may just ghost you.

7. They freaked out after realizing how much they like you

It’s also possible that they had a great time with you but freaked out afterward realizing how much they liked you.

So instead of facing their feelings, they may have just ghosted you.

8. They’re not ready to deal with your baggage

If you have any baggage (like kids, exes, pets, etc.), they may not be ready to deal with that just yet.

So they may ghost you after the first date instead of trying to work through it.

9. They met someone else

This is a very common reason why people ghost.

They may have met someone else that they’re interested in and don’t want to string you along.

10. They’re just not that into you

Sometimes, it really is just that simple.

They may have had a good time with you but just aren’t that into you.

Now that you know some of the reasons why people ghost after the first date, what can you do if it happens to you?

Ghosted After First Date: What To Do 

1. Don’t take it personally

I know it’s hard not to take it personally but it’s not about you; it’s about them.

If someone doesn’t text back or reply to your messages, they probably don’t want to talk to you anymore—and that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your personality ; it just means that person isn’t interested in pursuing things further with you.

So don’t take it personally and try not to let it get you down.

2. Reach out one last time

If you’ve been ghosted, it’s okay to reach out one last time and try to get some closure.

You can send a text message or leave a voicemail just asking for a quick explanation.

But don’t be too pushy or demanding.

And don’t keep reaching out if they don’t respond.

It can be tempting to keep trying because there’s a part of us that wants to believe that something could happen between us if we just give it enough time and effort.

But let’s be real here.

That might not happen because this person might not be interested in getting back together with you.

You haven’t really even started dating.

So don’t push things.

The best thing you can do is just move on.

There’s nothing you can do to make them change their mind, so it’s just not worth your time and energy to try.

Focus on finding someone who is interested in you and wants to have a relationship.

4. Don’t get revenge

You feel like the best course of action is to try to get back at the person who ghosted you—and that’s totally fine.

But the last thing they deserve is for you to go out of your way to make them feel bad because they didn’t want to continue seeing you.

Ghosting usually happens because someone doesn’t want an emotional connection with you.

If you try to get back at them, that means that you’re still trying to create an emotional connection with them, which will only make things worse for both of you.

Remember the time when an ex stupidly broke up with you?

Remember how much better off you were when you didn’t pull any stupid stunts in response?

Yeah, same thing here.

If someone ghosted you after the first date, they’re probably not into you anyway, so why go out of your way to make things more awkward than they already are?

Just let it go!

5. Remind yourself that this is not a reflection of your worth

It’s normal to feel a little angry or upset when you’re ghosted.

After all, this person has just made you feel like a piece of gum that they spat out and discarded when they were done chewing on it.

But once you get over those feelings and move on with your life, you’ll realize that being ghosted isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

So one of the best ways to get over being ghosted is by not letting it ruin your self-esteem or make you question yourself as a person.

It’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough after getting ghosted.

But if you were only seeing each other one time and nothing seemed too serious, then there’s no reason why this should change how you feel about yourself at all.

You are just as deserving of love and respect as anyone else.

6. Don’t blame yourself for putting yourself out there

You did the right thing by going on a date with someone who seemed cool and interesting.

Things didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you should stop trying to find someone who is right for you.

7. Get support from friends and family

Ghosting can be a stressful experience.

After all, it’s hard to know if you did something wrong or you might never know what went wrong.

Instead of putting yourself through this confusion and heartache, find support from those who are there to listen.

Reach out to your friends and family for support and let them help you remember your worth and that you deserve better.

They can also provide the encouragement and motivation you need to move on.

Don’t freak out if you’ve been ghosted after first date.

It’s not the end of the world.

Try to take it in stride and give them some space.

If they don’t reach out, move on and find someone who appreciates you for the amazing person that you are.

What I've Learned From Being A Serial Ghoster

During my past year and a half of singledom, I've become a serial ghoster. In case you've somehow been lucky enough not to hear about ghosting , allow me to enlighten you. Ghosting is the most recent trend in ending things with someone you're seeing, where you basically freeze them out by not responding until they get the hint. But before you start to get all judgmental, hear me out.

I only ghost first dates that I'm not interested in seeing again. Examples include: The date that forced me to use a coaster and referred to his mom as "mother." The date who proudly told me the story of how he cursed out an older woman for trying to steal his parking spot, and went on to provide other examples of women who "can't drive." The date who I actually would have seen again, had he not followed our first date up with a 1 a.m. Netflix and Chill invitation .

You get the picture.

But I've also learned some tough lessons during my year and a half of ghosting on the regular. For example, that ghosting actually isn't a one size fits all fix for ending things. Here are a few that have really stuck with me.

1. It's OK To Renege On Your Ghosting Efforts ... Sometimes

In most cases, if you're going to ghost on someone you have no interest in dating again, there is no benefit to deciding to answer their text messages. But one such exception I experienced was Dave*, a guy I went out on a first date with that fell into the category of, "I had a great time but I'm just not interested in seeing you again." I know that you're rolling your eyes right about now, but when people say that it's the truth.

Dave took me on a great date, but by the end of it I felt like I was out with a buddy, not someone I'd ever want to get naked with. After ignoring a few of his texts, I caved and braced myself for the mean text messages I was used to getting when trying to gently let someone down. But what came was a sincere thank you. In short, some guys won't act a fool when you're actually upfront about not wanting to see them again. They're just few and far between.

2. It's Really Hard To Ghost Someone When They Live In Your Neighborhood

You're probably like, duh. But when I found out that Kevin* lived in my town, I would never have guessed that he actually lived just a few blocks away from me. Or that his office was right around the corner from mine. Or that he goes to the same gym as I do. Or that we both take the same commute home at basically the same time every day. If I had known this before we met up for our first date, I honestly might have canceled. But here I am months later, still ducking behind commuters when I see him on the subway platform. The lesson here? If you're a serial ghoster, do your research before you agree to a date with someone you'll have to avoid in your everyday life.

3. Don't Ghost A Friend Of A Friend

This was another date where I had an awesome time, but by the end of it felt like we were just meant to be friends. I had met Jim* on Halloween through a friend's cousin, and from what I understood he didn't come around much. So when he asked to go out again, I ghosted. This one really came back in my face when a few months later, he started dating my best friend's sister. Which meant seeing him pretty regularly, and even performing in an engagement flash mob together. Thankfully he's a cool guy and didn't hold it against me (I think, anyway). But in the future, if there's ever a guy I end up dating who is connected to my friend circle (even distantly) you better believe I will do my best to end things in a civil manner.

4. Avoid Confrontation With The Person You're Ghosting. Because Then You're Not Ghosting, You're Fighting

Seriously, I never even went on a date with this guy. He saw me walk by a bar he was at after we had matched on a dating app (NYC is actually that small) and proceeded to text me saying so. He then asked why I didn't respond to him when he apparently banged on the bar's window. Sufficiently creeped out, I didn't answer. But he kept at it, hard, and eventually I tried to explain why I was no longer interested (because I don't have time for guys that get drunk and bang on windows at people they only know through a dating app — and then harass them about why they didn't respond.) What's that saying, you can't argue with stupid? I'll just leave that screenshot here.

5. Even If You Ghost On The Regular, It Still Feels Surprising When It Happens To You

Maybe it's because I assume that if I'm ghosting on someone, they must have had at least some inclination that the date didn't go too well. But when it comes back around on me, I'm somehow still surprised at how off I was on my perception of whether or not the date was going swimmingly. Then again, who knows what could have happened to this guy. I mean, he could have moved away, gotten back with his ex girlfriend, got hit by a truck right as he was sending me that blank space four months after our first date.

But that's part of the appeal of ghosting, am I right? It doesn't close the door all the way. Anything could have caused this person to stop responding. It's not necessarily us. It could be them. It's probably them. Yeah, let's go with that.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page .

*Names have been changed.

Images: Danielle Page, Pexels.com

How the Hamas attack on Israel unfolded

JERUSALEM, Oct 7 (Reuters) - A surprise attack by Hamas on Israel, which combined gunmen breaching security barriers with a barrage of rockets fired from Gaza, was launched at dawn on Saturday during the Jewish high holiday of Simchat Torah.

The attack came 50 years and a day after Egyptian and Syrian forces launched an assault during the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur in an effort to retrieve territory Israel had taken during a brief conflict in 1967.

This is how it took place:

COVERING ROCKET BARRAGE

At about 6.30 a.m. (0430 GMT) Palestinian Islamist group Hamas fired a huge barrage of rockets across southern Israel, with sirens heard as far away as Tel Aviv and Beersheba.

Hamas said it had fired 5,000 rockets in a first barrage. Israel's military said 2,500 rockets were fired.

Smoke billowed over residential Israeli areas and people sheltered behind buildings as sirens sounded overhead. At least one woman was reported killed by the rockets.

DAWN INFILTRATION

The barrage served as cover for an unprecedented multi-pronged infiltration of fighters, with the Israeli military saying at 7.40 a.m. (0540 GMT) that Palestinian gunmen had crossed into Israel.

Most fighters crossed through breaches in land security barriers separating Gaza and Israel. But at least one was filmed crossing on a powered parachute while a motorboat was filmed heading to Zikim, an Israeli coastal town and military base.

Videos issued by Hamas showed fighters breaching the security fences, with the dim light and low sun suggesting it was at around the time of the rocket barrage.

One video showed at least six motorbikes with fighters crossing through a hole in a metal security barrier.

A photograph released by Hamas showed a bulldozer tearing down a section of security fence.

FIGHTING AT ISRAELI MILITARY BASES

Israel's military said at 10 a.m. that Palestinian fighters had penetrated at least three military installations around the frontier - the Erez border crossing, the Zikim base and the Gaza division headquarters at Reim. It said fighting at Erez and Zikim continued.

Hamas videos showed fighters running towards a burning building near a high concrete wall with a watchtower and fighters apparently overrunning part of an Israeli military facility and shooting from behind a wall.

[1/3] A view of a junction shows the aftermath of Saturday's mass-infiltration by Hamas gunmen from the Gaza Strip, in the Sderot area of southern Israel October 7, 2023. REUTERS/Ammar Awad Acquire Licensing Rights

Several captured Israeli military vehicles were later pictured being driven into Gaza and paraded there.

BORDER TOWN RAIDS

Fighters raided the Israeli border town of Sderot and were reported to be in another border community, Be'eri, and the town of Ofakim 30km (20 miles) east of Gaza, according to Israeli media citing phone calls from residents.

A video verified by Reuters showed several gunmen riding the back of a white pickup truck moving through Sderot.

Many residents of southern Israeli towns have fortified areas in their homes that function as bomb shelters and on Saturday they were using them as panic rooms.

Israel's military ordered residents to shelter inside, saying on the radio "we will reach you".

By mid morning Israel's police chief Yaacov Shabtai said forces were engaging gunmen in 21 locations and at 1.30 p.m. the military said troops were still working to clear communities that had been overrun by gunmen.

A Reuters photographer saw bodies on the streets of Sderot. Israeli news media have reported at least 100 Israelis killed and 800 wounded.

Hamas videos and unverified images circulating on social media showed dead civilians, Israeli soldiers and Palestinian fighters.

Israel's Foreign Ministry said Hamas gunmen had gone house-to-house killing civilians.

TAKING CAPTIVES

Israeli media has reported that gunmen have seized hostages in Ofakim. Islamic Jihad said it was holding several Israeli soldiers captive and Hamas social media accounts showed footage of appearing to show captives being taken alive into Gaza.

One video showed three young men in vests, shorts and slippers being marched through a security installation with Hebrew writing on the wall. Other videos showed female captives.

Another showed fighters dragging at least two Israeli soldiers from a military vehicle.

ISRAELI STRIKES

At 9.45 a.m. blasts were heard in central Gaza and Gaza city and at 10.00 a.m. Israel's military spokesperson said the airforce was carrying out strikes in Gaza. Medics in Gaza said dozens of people were killed in the strikes.

Israel says no humanitarian break to Gaza siege unless hostages are freed

Gazans bombarded by Israel have no hope and no escape

Egypt discusses Gaza aid, rejects corridors for civilians, say sources

Iran president, Saudi crown prince speak for first time since ties restored

Reporting by Dan Williams in Jerusalem and Nidal al-Mughrabi in Gaza; Writing by Angus McDowall; Editing by Ros Russell

Our Standards: The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.

More from Reuters

US to attend Beijing defense forum in latest sign of improving ties

The U.S. says it has accepted an invitation to attend China's top annual security forum in late October, the latest sign of potentially warming ties between the two countries' militaries.

Blinken to Israel on Middle East mission to prevent a wider war

Taiwan sets up task force to study Israel-Hamas war

Palestinian President Abbas to meet Blinken on Friday - Palestinian official

Saudi Arabia 'making unremitting efforts' to reduce Gaza tensions -crown prince

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2023 MLB playoff bracket: Scores, results, schedule as Diamondbacks sweep Dodgers, Astros back in ALCS

Just five teams remain in the 2023 mlb postseason after two more eliminations on wednesday.

The Arizona Diamondbacks are heading to the NLCS for the first time since 2007. The D-backs ousted the NL West champion Dodgers on Wednesday night, completing a shocking sweep of the NL's No. 2 seed in the NLDS. The Diamondbacks homered four times in the third inning against Lance Lynn to power their way to the Game 3 victory. Arizona awaits the winner of the Braves-Phillies series, but the ALCS matchup is set.

It's an all-Texas affair in the AL, with the Astros facing the Rangers. The Astros are in the ALCS for the seventh year in a row after beating the Twins, 3-1, in their ALDS matchup. Houston closed out Minnesota with a Game 4 win on Wednesday.

The Rangers, meanwhile, knocked out the top-seeded Orioles on Tuesday. The Rangers are in the ALCS for the first time since they won the pennant in 2011. They finished with the same record as the Astros, but Houston held the tiebreaker to earn the AL West title and home-field advantage in this playoff matchup.

Braves vs. Phillies is the only LDS matchup left. Game 4 is set for Thursday night in Philly, and the Phillies need just one more win to move on. They hit six homers on Wednesday in a blowout win in Game 3.

The playoff field started with 12 teams, but is now down to five. The Marlins, Brewers, Blue Jays and Rays were eliminated in the Wild Card Series.

Below is a look at the complete MLB playoff bracket, and the complete schedule for the playoffs. All games on ABC, ESPN, ESPN2, Fox and FS1 will be streaming on  fubo  (try for free).

2023 MLB playoff bracket

Divisional round scores, schedule

Saturday, Oct. 7 ALDS Game 1: Rangers 3, Orioles 2  ALDS Game 1: Astros 6, Twins 4 NLDS Game 1: Phillies 3, Braves 0 NLDS Game 1: Diamondbacks 11, Dodgers 

Sunday, Oct. 8 ALDS Game 2: Rangers 11, Orioles 8 ALDS Game 2: Twins 6, Astros 2

Monday, Oct. 9 NLDS Game 2: Braves 5, Phillies 4  NLDS Game 2: Diamondbacks 4, Dodgers 2

Tuesday, Oct. 10 ALDS Game 3: Astros 9, Twins 1 ALDS Game 3: Rangers 7, Orioles 1 (Texas wins 3-0)

Wednesday, Oct. 11 NLDS Game 3: Phillies 10, Braves 2 (Philadelphia leads 2-1) ALDS Game 4: Astros 3, Twins 2 (Houston wins 3-1) NLDS Game 3: Diamondbacks 4, Dodgers 2 (Arizona wins 3-0)

Thursday, Oct. 12 NLDS Game 4: Phillies vs. Braves, 8:07 ET (TBS)

Saturday, Oct. 14 NLDS Game 5*: Braves vs. Phillies, 8:07 ET (TBS)

League Championship Series

Sunday, Oct. 15 ALCS Game 1: Astros vs. Rangers (Fox or FS1)

Monday, Oct. 16 NLCS Game 1: TBD vs. Diamondbacks (TBS) ALCS Game 2: Astros vs. Rangers (Fox or FS1)

Tuesday, Oct. 17 NLCS Game 2: TBD vs. Diamondbacks (TBS)

Wednesday, Oct. 18 ALCS Game 3: Rangers vs. Astros (Fox or FS1)

Thursday, Oct. 19 NLCS Game 3: Diamondbacks vs. TBD (TBS) ALCS Game 4: Rangers vs. Astros (Fox or FS1)

Friday, Oct. 20 NLCS Game 4: Diamondbacks vs. TBD (TBS) ALCS Game 5*: Rangers vs. Astros (Fox or FS1)

Saturday, Oct. 21 NLCS Game 5*: Diamondbacks vs. TBD (TBS)

Sunday, Oct. 22 ALCS Game 6*: Astros vs. Rangers (Fox or FS1)

Monday, Oct. 23 NLCS Game 6*: TBD vs. Diamondbacks (TBS) ALCS Game 7*: Astros vs. Rangers (Fox or FS1)

Tuesday, Oct. 24 NLCS Game 7*: TBD vs. Diamondbacks (TBS)

World Series

Friday, Oct. 27 World Series Game 1: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Saturday, Oct. 28 World Series Game 2: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Monday, Oct. 30 World Series Game 3: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Tuesday, Oct. 31 World Series Game 4: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Wednesday, Nov. 1 World Series Game 5*: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Friday, Nov. 3 World Series Game 6*: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Saturday, Nov. 4 World Series Game 7*: TBD vs. TBD (Fox)

Wild Card Series scores

Wednesday, Oct. 4 Game 2: Rangers 7, Rays 1 (Rangers win 2-0) Game 2: Twins 2, Blue Jays 0 (Twins win 2-0) Game 2: Brewers 5, Diamondbacks 2 (D-backs win 2-0) Game 2: Phillies 7, Marlins 1 (Phillies win 2-0)

Tuesday, Oct. 3 Game 1: No. 5 Rangers 4, No. 4 Rays 0 (Rangers lead 1-0) Game 1: No. 3 Twins 3, No. 6 Blue Jays 1 (Twins lead 1-0) Game 1: No. 6 Diamondbacks 6, No. 3 Brewers 3 (D-backs lead 1-0) Game 1: No. 4 Phillies 4, No. 5 Marlins 1 (Phillies lead 1-0)

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• International

October 11, 2023 - Israel-Hamas war news

By Kathleen Magramo , Adam Renton, Christian Edwards, Peter Wilkinson , Aditi Sangal , Dakin Andone , Leinz Vales , Steve Almasy, Elise Hammond , Tori B. Powell , Kaanita Iyer and Maureen Chowdhury , CNN

Our live coverage of the conflict in Israel and Gaza has moved here.

More than 330,000 people have been displaced in Gaza since Israel began its bombardment, UN says

From CNN's Abeer Salman & Kareem El Damanhoury

More than 330,000 people have been displaced in Gaza since Israel began its bombardment of the strip, according to a statement by the United Nations Office for Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) early Thursday (local time).

"The cumulative number of displaced people increased by 30 percent over the past 24 hours, now totaling 338,934, of whom over two thirds are taking shelter in UNRWA schools," the statement read.

OCHA further expressed its concerns over the damage of civilian infrastructure in Gaza. Israel began a blockade of the densely populated enclave, cutting electricity, fuel, and water supplies.

The Palestinian Ministry of Health in Gaza earlier on Thursday said 600,000 people have no access to water and that some hospitals are relying on water from wells. The ministry added that the death toll in Gaza is nearing 1,200 since Saturday.

Meanwhile, the World Food Programme (WFP) says it is aiming to provide "a critical food lifeline to over 800,000 people."

Biden administration official clarifies president, admin have not seen pictures or verified reports of children beheaded by Hamas

From CNN's DJ Judd and Kayla Tausche 

After President Biden’s remarks earlier today, an administration official told CNN neither Biden nor the administration have seen pictures or confirmed reports of children or infants beheaded by Hamas.

The official clarified that the president’s remarks were referring to public comments from media outlets and Israeli officials.

Biden, speaking from the Indian Treaty Room Wednesday, told Jewish leaders, “It matters that Americans see what's happening — I mean, I have been doing this a long time, I never really thought that I would see, have confirmed pictures of terrorists beheading children.” 

A spokesperson for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu  said Wednesday that babies and toddlers were found “ decapitated ” in Kfar Aza, Tal Heinrich. CNN could not independently verify that report, and Hamas said media reports about attacking children were false.

US State Department exploring alternative options for citizens wanting to leave Israel due to limited flights

From CNN's Jennifer Hansler

The US State Department said it's aware of the limited commercial flights available to citizens wanting to leave Israel and is "exploring other contract options by air, land, and sea to nearby countries," a spokesperson said Wednesday.

"The State Department has teams communicating 24/7 with US citizens and providing them assistance through phone calls, an online form and the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program," the spokesperson said. "Our goal is to assist US citizens who want to leave Israel with a safe means of doing so."  

The spokesperson said US citizens are encouraged to take advantage of commercial flights "that involve transiting a third country if they are unable to book a direct flight to the United States." In order to meet high demand for flights, the spokesperson said "we are also exploring other contract options by air, land and sea to nearby countries."

The spokesperson said the department "will continue to provide updates to US citizens who have registered via our online form as information becomes available."

On Wednesday, the department raised  the travel advisory level for Israel to Level 3:Reconsider Travel. 

Israel currently conducting "large-scale strike" on Hamas in Gaza, IDF says

From CNN's Elliott Gotkine

The Israel Defense Forces are "currently conducting a large-scale strike on terror targets belonging to the Hamas terrorist organization in the Gaza Strip," according to an IDF social media post early Thursday local time.

Here's a brief history of the US support for Israel over the last 75 years

From CNN's Zachary B. Wolf

President Joe Biden’s promise for the US to “stand with Israel” continues a special relationship that dates back to 1948, when President Harry Truman became the first world leader to recognize the Jewish state, moments after its creation.

There’s now a kibbutz named after Truman in Israel, and the US provides billions in military support to Israel each year.

Israel has played an outsized role in US policy, and not just because most recent presidents have tried to play the role of peace maker between Israel and Palestinians and move toward a two-state solution.

Three presidential historians provided context about the US and its relationship with Israel.  Douglas Brinkley  is CNN’s presidential historian and a professor at Rice University,  Julian Zelizer  is a CNN contributor and a professor at Princeton University and  Mark Updegrove  is president and CEO of the LBJ Foundation.

Here's what they had to say about the US relationship with Israel.

President Dwight Eisenhower became infuriated at Israel: Along with France and the United Kingdom,  Israel attacked  Egypt in 1956 in an attempt to seize the Suez Canal and overthrow Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser. Eisenhower pressured the countries to remove their troops — which they eventually did.

President John F. Kennedy was concerned about Israel’s nuclear ambitions: Kennedy engaged in a quiet  pressure campaign  to let US inspectors into its nuclear sites and halt an Israeli nuclear program. Israel is  thought to have developed nuclear weapons in the 1960s , although it has never formally acknowledged them.

President Lyndon Johnson used the hotline to calm the Soviets during the Six-Day War: Johnson helped supply Israel in the years preceding the Six-Day War, in which Israel seized land from its neighbors. Egypt, as a result, closed the Suez Canal for years. Johnson agreed to sell some military equipment to the Israelis which was a shift in US policy at the time. 

“This was a very much a product of Cold War tension,” said Updegrove, the president and CEO of the LBJ Foundation. “I think there was a great concern that that would escalate beyond Israel, Egypt and Syria to being a much larger battle.”

President Richard Nixon airlifted supplies to Israel and engaged in "shuttle diplomacy": Nixon ultimately supported Israel during the Yom Kippur War of 1973, a key moment that may have saved the country.

“Most historians of that region think that the US munitions support was essential to Israel’s survival at that point,” Zelizer said.

Henry Kissinger, Nixon’s secretary of state, also engaged in so-called “ shuttle diplomacy ,” engineering an end to the war and  ultimately reopening  the Suez Canal under President Gerald Ford.

President Jimmy Carter brokered peace between Egypt and Israel: Carter brought Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat together for the Camp David Accords, which created a lasting peace between Israel and Egypt, its Arab neighbor to the South.

Today, Israel enforces its borders on the Gaza Strip, but so does Egypt. That more than two million Palestinians live in the 140 square-mile strip without the ability to easily leave is why it is today frequently referred to as  the biggest open-air prison on earth .

Read more about the US-Israel relationship throughout the years.

Senior Hamas official says it's too early to exchange Israeli hostages

From CNN's Mohammed Tawfeeq and journalist Ali Younes

Izzat al-Risheq, a senior Hamas official, told CNN Wednesday that it's too early to exchange Israeli hostages while Israel continues to strike Gaza.

"We will only discuss this issue when the Israeli aggression against our people ends," al-Risheq said from Doha, Qatar.

He also denied Hamas had any help from Iran or Lebanon's Hezbollah in executing or planning Hamas' large-scale surprise assault on Israel.

"I say it very clearly that this operation was a 100 percent Hamas operation without any help from any regional party," al-Risheq said.

Some background: Hamas fighters are holding as many as 150 people hostage in locations across Gaza following their raids on southern Israel on Saturday, Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations said Monday.

Abu Obaida, the spokesperson of Hamas’ Al-Qassam Brigades, said Monday that Hamas would start executing civilian hostages if Israel targeted people in Gaza without warning.

Hostages held by Hamas are likely underground, IDF spokesperson says

From CNN’s Josh Campbell and Larry Register in Atlanta

Israeli authorities think hostages taken by Hamas are being held underground, Lt. Col. Jonathan Conricus, a spokesperson for the Israel Defense Forces, told CNN’s Erin Burnett on Wednesday.  

“Reason dictates that they are underground,” Conricus said. “Reason also dictates that Hamas, since they planned to launch this attack and they planned to take these people hostage, reason dictates that they planned in advance locations to hide these hostages and keep them safe from Israeli intelligence, and efforts to get them out.” 

The situation with the hostages is an “extremely sensitive and complex topic,” Conricus said. Even though Israel has had “some experience” with hostage situations, they have never dealt with anything like this, he added.

“Not in the scope, not in the magnitude and not in the complexity of where our hostages are, Conricus said.

When asked whether an Israeli ground invasion was imminent, Conricus said he would not telegraph Israel’s schedule or intentions in this conflict .

“It is clear and understandable that what needs to be done is that all of Hamas’ military capabilities need to be taken off the map. How that will happen, by what means, and what tactics, that is a few days in the future, maybe more than that.” 

Hamas fighters are holding as many as 150 people hostage in locations across Gaza following their raids on southern Israel on Saturday, Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations said Monday.

Abu Obaida, the spokesperson of Hamas’ Al-Qassam Brigades, on Monday said Hamas would start executing civilian hostages if Israel targeted people in Gaza without warning.

Wave of Israeli airstrikes have killed 51 and injured scores, Gaza health ministry says

From CNN's Kareem El Damanhoury

Israeli airstrikes on the Gaza Strip have left at least 51 people dead and another 281 injured as of early Thursday local time, according to the Palestinian Ministry of Health.

The casualties were in the residential areas of Zeitoun, Sabra, Al-Nafaq, and Tel al-Hawa, it said.

Some of the victims are still under the rubble, according to Deputy Health Minister Yousef Abu Al-Rish, who accused Israeli forces of intending "to cause as much damage and destruction, hence destroying entire residential areas.” 

Abu Al-Rish added that the death toll in Gaza is nearing 1,200 after the latest airstrikes.

The minister described the situation as an “imminent humanitarian catastrophe” after Israel began a blockade of the densely populated enclave, cutting electricity, fuel, and water supplies. 

“More than 600,000 of Gaza’s population are deprived from water, and entire hospitals are deprived from water," he added, urging the world to stop the Israeli aggression. 

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Hamas and Israel at war: what we know on day two

Hundreds are dead after a surprise attack by Hamas, prompting Israel to declare a state of war and launch retaliatory strikes

• Live: Hamas Gaza hideouts will be turned to ‘rubble’, Netanyahu says

Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories are reeling after the Palestinian Islamist group Hamas launched the biggest attack on the Jewish state in 50 years. Hundreds are dead after a surprise attack on the morning of a Jewish holiday and Israel has declared a state of war.

Here is what we know so far:

Israeli forces continued to battle Hamas fighters on the streets of southern Israel on Sunday and launched strikes that levelled buildings in Gaza, more than 24 hours after the Palestinian militant group launched a surprise and unprecedented incursion into Israel – the deadliest in decades.

At least 600 Israelis were killed, including 44 soldiers, and more than 2,000 wounded, Israeli media reported.

At least 370 Palestinians were killed, including 20 children, and 2,200 wounded as a result of airstrikes in Gaza since Saturday, the Palestinian authority said. Seven people were also killed by Israeli army fire in the West Bank.

Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu said the country was at war and would exact a heavy price from its enemies. Hamas leaders said they were prepared for further escalation.

Israel military officials said “hundreds of terrorists” had been killed and dozens captured as the fighting continued on Sunday.

Israeli military said a “substantial” number of civilians and soldiers had been taken to Gaza and were being held hostage.

In northern Israel, a brief exchange of strikes between Israel and Lebanon’s Hezbollah militant group raised fears of a broader conflict.

In neighbouring Egypt, a policeman shot dead two Israeli tourists and an Egyptian at a tourist site in Alexandria.

The UN security council is due to meet on Sunday after the secretary general, António Guterres, urged “all diplomatic efforts to avoid a wider conflagration”.

Israel will stop supplying electricity, fuel and goods to Gaza, according to a statement from Netanyahu’s office on Saturday night.

The US president, Joe Biden, issued a staunch condemnation of the attacks by Hamas against Israel, saying in an address on Saturday: “ The United States stands with Israel”. He issued a statement earlier calling the attacks “horrific” and an “appalling assault”.

• Palestinian territories
• Middle East and north Africa

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