50 Best Ghost Jokes to Tell Each Other on Halloween Night

These puns, riddles, and one-liners will crack up kids and adults.

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If you're hanging with friends this All Hallows' Eve, ask them what kind of drink the ghost buys at a bar— boos ! Or what about the ghost who's going on vacation? He went to the Boo-hamas! These jokes about ghosts are real knee-slappers and are perfect for anyone who considers themselves a connoisseur of dad jokes . There are also so many ghost jokes for kids that are perfect for hiding in their lunchbox to make them smile while at school. They'll get a real kick out the ones based on Halloween puns like the ghosts who love to play hide-and-go- shriek ! If you're already cracking up, then you'll definitely want to read on for these ghost jokes that are sure to lift your spirits .

Funny Ghost Jokes

dog sit as a ghost for halloween in front of the door  at home entrance with pumpkin lantern or  light , scary and spooky

  • What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas- scare-a!
  • What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
  • What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
  • What kind of horse do ghosts ride? A night-mare.
  • Who did the ghost take to prom? A ghoul-friend!
  • How does a ghost unlock a door? With a spoo-key.
  • Where do ghosts buy their clothes? At a boo-tique!
  • Why are ghosts and demons so close? Demons are a ghoul's best friend.
  • What room does a ghost not need in a house? A living room.
  • Why do ghosts love elevators? It lifts their spirits.
  • Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
  • What position do ghosts play on the field? Ghoul-keeper.
  • Where do ghosts go on vacation? The Boo-hamas.
  • What did the parent ghosts say to their kids before a road trip? Fasten your sheet belts!
  • When do ghosts drink coffee? In the moaning.
  • Why didn't the ghost eat his candy? He didn't have the stomach for it.
  • Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store.
  • What's a ghost's favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
  • How do ghosts stay in shape? By exorcising.

Ghost Jokes for Kids

color portrait of girl wearing sheet with eye and mouth holes as halloween ghost costume, standing outside surrounded by fallen leaves

  • Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.
  • What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham- boo!
  • What's a ghost's favorite type of fruit? Boo-berries!
  • What does a ghost eat with meatballs? Spook-etti.
  • What do ghosts do at sleepovers? Tell scary human stories.
  • Where do baby ghosts spend the day when their parents are at work? Day-scare.
  • What day do ghosts love to do their scaring? On Fright-day.
  • What game do ghosts play? Hide and shriek.
  • How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
  • What kind of street does a ghost live on? A dead end.
  • Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
  • What's a pirate ghost's favorite kind of tea? Boo-tea.
  • What did one ghost ask the other? Do you believe in humans?
  • Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He needed a boo-ster shot.
  • What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
  • How do ghosts cry when they're sad? Boo-hoo!
  • What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
  • What's a ghost's favorite tree? Ceme-trees!
  • What did the ghost teacher tell the class? Look at the board and I'll go through it again.
  • How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
  • Why was the ghost embarrassed? He had a boo-ger.

children 4 12 wearing fancy dress costumes on country lane, carved pumpkin in foreground

  • Ghosts love astrology—they always read their horror-scopes!
  • The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
  • Are you a ghost? Because you look like my boo!
  • The ghost got lost in the fog and now he is mist.
  • Ghosts stay safe by buckling their sheet belts!
  • A ghost's motto is: Eat, drink, and be scary.
  • Ghost kids know not to spook unless spoken to.
  • Dull ghosts are so boo-ring!
  • Ghosts' favorite dessert is ice scream.
  • The ghost went to the theater to see a phantomime!

Headshot of Erin Cavoto

Erin Cavoto is the Editorial Assistant at ThePioneerWoman.com, covering food, holidays, home decor, and more.

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Ghost Jokes

Ghost Jokes

Ghost jokes that are funny – clean ghost jokes for kids, parents, teachers and people of all ages.

Funny ghost jokes includes ghost puns, ghostly riddles, knock-knock jokes and one-liners.

These ghost jokes are perfect for Halloween but get laughs all year long for teachers, parents and children. Let’s face it, ghosts are just plain fun. Saying “boo” is as popular as ever and there are no signs of it going away. You can thank ghosts for that!

With the popularity of the Ghostbusters movie, these ghost jokes are even more fun (a poltergeist is a type of ghost). Other names commonly used for a ghost include spirit, poltergeist, apparition, haunt, phantom, shade, specter, spectre, spook, wraith and ghoul.

Some of the most famous ghost characters include Casper, Ghost of Christmas Past, Ghost of Christmas Present, Ghost of Christmas Future (or ‘yet to come’), Slimer, Headless Horseman, Nearly Headless Nick (Harry Potter), Slimer (Ghostbusters), Big Boo (Mario Bros), Spectre (DC) and Moaning Myrtle (Harry Potter).

Grab some post-it notes and put some of these funny ghost jokes in a lunch box or notebook and you’re sure to brighten up somebody’s day. And when you’re done reading and sharing these jokes, check out our collection of Ghoul jokes .

Ghost Jokes for Kids

Q: What color are sad ghosts? A: Bloooooo.

Q: What do you call a ghost that brags? A: A boastful ghost.

Q: How do ghosts get their exercise? A: They play frisboo.

Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet? A: Boooties.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, poodle, and a ghost? A: A cocker-poodle-boo.

Q: How do ghosts keep their hair in place? A: They use scare spray.

Q: How do poltergeists move from floor to floor? A: They use the SCARE-case.

Q: How do ghosts tell their future? A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: Where do ghosts go when they want to surf? A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What kind of ghost has the best hearing? A: The eeriest.

Q: What did they call the mischievous twin ghosts? A: Double trouble.

Q: Why are so few ghosts arrested? A: It’s tough to pin anything on them.

Q: How do ghost musicians learn songs? A: They read sheet music.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A: He is mist.

Clean Ghost Jokes

Q: What kind of cars do ghosts drive? A: Boo-icks.

Q: Where do ghosts mail letters? A: The ghost office.

Q: What kind of horses do ghosts ride? A: Night-mares.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a ghost? A: A peck-a-boo.

Q: How did the friendly ghost do his test? A: He got a casperfect score.

Q: What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like most? A: Sheet cake.

Q: Where does a ghost go to dance? A: Anywhere they can boo-gie.

Q: How do you greet a two-headed ghost? A: Hello, hello.

Q: Why was the ghost scared stiff? A: Too much starch on his sheet.

Q: What do pirate ghosts look for? A: Booooty

Q: Which album do all spirits have in their collection? A: Ghost in the Machine by The Police.

Q: Who protects the beach where spirits roam? A: The Ghost Guard.

Ghost Jokes for School Teachers

Q: Why couldn’t the ghost go to school with the witch? A: He couldn’t spell.

Q: Why did the ghost hurry home from school? A: To watch an after-ghoul special on TV.

Q: Why did the ghost go to the school dance? A: To see the boogie man.

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert in the school cafeteria? A: Ice Scream.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite game during school recess? A: Hide-and-Go-Shriek.

Halloween Ghost Jokes

Q: What Viking ghost comes out every Halloween night? A: The Headless Norseman…

Q: What do ghosts do on Halloween? A: Go to casparties. (Casper the friendly ghost)

Q: What do you do when 10 ghosts are at your front door? A: Hope it’s Halloween.

Q: Who did the boy ghost take to the Halloween dance? A: His boo-tiful ghoul-friend.

Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall? A: The night-mayor.

Q: What is it called when ghosts commit a robbery? A: A polterheist.

Q: What do you do with a green ghost? A: Wait til it ripens.

Q: What was the obnoxious spirit told by the haunted hotel owner? A: Ghostay somewhere else.

Q: Why is the letter G so scary? A: It can turn a host into a ghost.

Q: How did the ghost mend the hole in his sheet? A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What’s the spookiest plant on All Hallows Eve? A: Moaning Myrtle

Q: Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? A: Because demons are a ghost’s best friend.

Q: Why was the ghost given a ticket by the game warden? A: He didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? A: Because you can see right through them.

Q: Who writes the spookiest books? A: Ghostwriters.

Q: Why are ghosts covered in wrinkles? A: They’re too hard to iron.

Q: Why didn’t the ghost slurp his food? A: Because then it would be a goblin.

Q: Who was the ghost’s favorite family member? A: His mummy.

Q: Where do ghosts go to fish? A: Lake Eerie.

Q: Why did the friendly ghost lose his job A: It wasn’t casper-manent.

Q: How do young ghost’s get around the neighborhood? A: On their boocycles.

Ghost Jokes for Children

Q: What time is it when a ghost haunts your house? A: Time to get a new house.

Q: What do ghost’s say when they meet someone new? A: How do you boo?

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? A: Boo-boos.

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt skyscrapers? A: Higher spirits.

Q: Why do ghosts only eat organic food? A: Because it’s super-natural.

Q: What kind of spirit stays up late doing interviews? A: A talk show ghost.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite day of the week? A: Frightday.

Q: Which ghost helped the Little Leaguers win their baseball game? A: The team spirit.

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite bird? A: A scare crow.

Q: What medicine do ghosts take for colds? A: Coffin drops.

Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a camp fire? A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? A: Booberries.

Q: Why wasn’t the ghost successful? A: Because he didn’t believe in himself.

Q: Why did the ghost stop telling jokes? A: Too many boos.

Q: Why was the ghost so slippery? A: It was a sheet of ice.

Q: Why are ghosts cowards? A: They have no guts.

Q: Who answers the door at a haunted house party? A: A g-host host.

Best Ghost Jokes

Q: Where does a ghost refuel his car? A: At the ghastly station.

Q: What goes on top of ghost ice cream sundaes? A: Whipped scream.

Q: How can you tell if a ghost is angry? A: It turns red.

Q: What patriotic song do ghosts sing? A: America the Boo-tiful.

Q: How do ghosts stay warm during the winter? A: They wear blankets instead of sheets.

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite dessert? A: Boo-berry pie!

Q: What do ghosts eat on hot days? A: I-scream

Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner? A: Ghoulash.

Q: What airline do ghosts fly on? A: American Scareways.

Q: How do ghosts like their lemonade? A: Ice ghould.

Q: How do ghosts stay fit? A: Through exorcise.

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A: Dayscare centers.

Q: Why are so many Canadians haunted by ghosts? A: They live in terror-tories.

Q: What did the ghost say when he fell down? A: I got a boo-boo.

Q: What do ghosts drink in the morning? A: Coffee with scream and sugar.

Q: Which type of trees do ghouls like to sit near? A: Ceme-trees.

Q: Who senator represents ghosts in congress? A: The Spooker of the House.

Q: What story do little ghosts like at bedtime? A: Ghoul-dilocks and the Three Scares.

Q: Which ghost hands out gifts during the Holidays? A: Ghost of Christmas Present

Q: How do ghosts like their eggs? A: Terri-fried.

Q: What do Australian ghosts like to play with in the park? A: Boo-merangs.

Q: What do they call prehistoric ghosts? A: Terror-dactyls.

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? A: Bamboo.

Q: What do ghouls write their exercise results in? A: Their exorcise journal.

Q: How do you keep a ghost in supsense? A: Tell him later.

Jokes About Ghosts

Q: What did the ghost put in his morning cereal? A: Boonanas

Q: What kind of muffins do ghosts like most? A: Booberry muffins.

Q: What do ghosts call their mom and dad? A: His trans-parents.

Q: Which fairy tale do little girl ghosts like most? A: Sleeping Boo-ty.

Q: What backyard game do ghosts like to play? A: Hide-and-go-shriek.

Q: What is the one room ghost houses don’t need? A: A living room.

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast? A: In the moaning.

Q: Where do baby ghosts stay when their parents are haunting people at night? A: Nightscare centers.

Q: Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? A: At boo-tiques.

Q: Where do ghosts buy food? A: The ghost-ery store.

Q: What do the ghosts of gingerbread men wear? A: Cookie sheets.

Q: What did the guard at the haunted house say? A: Halt, who ghosts there?

Q: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? A: Boonanas.

Q: What day of the week do ghosts look forward to? A: Moanday.

Ghost Jokes for a Party

Q: What did the ghost bride throw to her bridesmaids? A: Her boo-quet.

Q: What do ghosts mail while on vacation? A: Ghostcards.

Q: What kind of hotdogs to ghosts like best? A: Halloweiners.

Q: What do ghosts with poor eyesight wear? A: Spook-tacles.

Q: What do ghosts drink when they’re hot? A: Ghoul-aid.

Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A: Mas-scare-a.

Q: What do you call a ghost sitting in a sauna? A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: What did they call the brother and sister ghosts? A: A gruesome twosome.

Q: What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains? A: Boots and ghouloshes.

Ghost Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock knock. Who’s there? Albi. Albi who? Albi dressed up as a ghost this Halloween!

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Chuck. Chuck who? Chuck to see if there are ghosts in the attic…

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter watch out for that ghost!

Knock Knock Who’s there? Hayden. Hayden who? Hayden out so the ghost doesn’t get me.

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Terri. Terri who? Terrified of ghosts…

Knock Knock Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up there is a ghost chasing me!

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Howie Howie who? Howie going to get away from the ghost?

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream when I see ghosts.

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Omar. Omar live who? Omar gosh, it’s a ghost!

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say “lookout for that ghost!”

Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry…

Never search for clean Halloween jokes again – Download them now instead. Get EVERY Halloween joke you’ll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device – forever! #1 for Parents and Teachers! Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Plus you’ll get a fun bonus – Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes).

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King Halloween

Ghost Jokes

By: Author Rex Knight

Posted on Last updated: July 23, 2023

Don’t get spooked by our ghost jokes.  These are Halloween jokes for kids and adults too. Everyone will enjoy scaring up a good time telling ghost jokes around Halloween.

For extra fun, parents can add ghost jokes or other Halloween jokes to lunch boxes as a Halloween countdown this October.

Q: What is the first thing you do after finding out your house is haunted? A: Call the movers!

Q: What is it called when a group of ghosts rob a bank? A: A polterheist.

Q: Why did the ghost eat a vegan raw food diet? A: Because it’s super natural.  

Q: Where is a ghosts favorite vacation spot? A: Maliboo.

Q: What do ghosts do to stay in shape? A: Exorcisms.

Q: How do ghosts greet each other? A: They say “How do you boo?”

Q: What are the only horses ghosts travel on? A: Night-mares.

Q: What do ghosts order at Starbucks? A: Black coffee with scream and sugar.

Q: What are the only cars ghost travel in? A: BOOicks.

Q: What do ghosts put on top of ice cream sundaes? A: Whipped screams.

Q: What do ghosts make to celebrate Halloween? A: Ghoulash stew.

Q: What do ghosts eat for dessert on Halloween? A: They love Boo Berry Pie.

Q: Why did the ghost look so stiff? A: His sheet was starched.

Q: What should you do if you see a two-headed ghost? A: Say hi and hello.

Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear? A: They wear Boo Jeans.

Q: How do you know a ghost is getting angry? A: It will start turning Red.

Q: What room do ghosts love to haunt? A: The Living Room.

Q: Who can write great books but won’t get any credit? A: Ghostwriters.

Q: What do ghosts give humans for dessert? A: I Scream.

Q: What is a ghosts favorite meal? A: Spooketi.

Q: What storybook do ghost parents read to kids at night? A: Sleeping BOOty.

Q: What bird do all ghosts like? A: Scare Crows.

Q: What do ghosts do on Halloween? A: Anything they want.

More Ghost Jokes

Q: What fruit do ghosts prefer? A: Boo berries.

Q: Why did the police officer ticket the ghost on Halloween? A: It didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Where do high end ghosts get their sheets? A: At BOOtiques.

Q: Why are ghosts great at cheerleading? A: They have a lot of spirit!

Q: What do you do when there are five ghosts at your door? A: You hope that it’s Halloween.

Q: Why did the ghost have low self esteem? A: Nobody believed in him.

Q: Why do ghosts like to dance? A: They love to BOOgie.  

Q: Where do ghosts go to send out packages? A: The ghost office.

Q: What beaches do ghosts like to hang out at? A: Beaches along the Dead Sea.

Q: What does a Panda Ghost eat? A: Bam-BOO!

Looking for a book of ghost jokes to read at home? Check out Uncle Amon’s Ghost Jokes: Halloween Jokes for Kid .

ghost halloween jokes

Q: How do ghosts keep warm in colder weather? A: They wear flannel sheets.

Q: Why do ghost get caught whenever they tell lies? A: Everyone can see right through them.

Q: Where do children ghosts go while parents are haunting houses? A: To the Dayscare Center.

Q: What do mom ghosts do when their child floats into a tree. A: Kiss the kid’s boo-boo.

Q: How do you know a ghost is a teenage girl? A: She will be wearing Mask-Scare-Ya make-up.

Q: What medicine do ghosts take when they get sick? A: They take Coffin Drops.

Q: What did the Haunted home owner tell the ghost in the attic? A: Ghostay at another house!

Q: What game do ghosts like to play on Halloween? A: They play Hide and Shriek.

Q:Why don’t ghosts ever have messed up hair? A: They use scare-spray.

Q: Where do ghosts go to water ski for the weekend? A: Lake Eerie.

Q: What does a ghost mom say before starting the car? A: Fasten your sheet-belts.

Q: What do you call a ghost chicken? A: A peck-a-boo.

Q: Who represents all ghosts in Congress? A: The Spooker of the House.

Q: How can you tell a ghost it sad? A: It will be blue.

Q: How come ghosts know the future? A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: Why do young ghosts have wrinkles? A: They don’t like getting ironed.

Q: Why do ghosts like group sports? A: They like to see the team spirit.

Q: What do ghosts in Australia do for fun? A: Play with a BOOmerang.

Q: What is a ghosts favorite birthday cake? A: A sheet cake.

Q: Why did the ghost stop in the middle of his speech? A: There were a lot of Boos from his friends.

Q: Who does a ghost love more than anyone else in the world? A: His mummy.

Q: Who will greet you at a haunted house party? A: Your party Ghost.

Q: Why did the ghost starch its sheet before going out? A: It wanted everybody scared stiff.

Q: Why didn’t the ghost do as well as the witch in school? A: He was bad at spelling.

If you enjoyed these spooky ghost jokes, be sure to check out our other Funny Halloween Jokes . We have pumpkin jokes , skeleton jokes , Halloween jokes for kids and Halloween jokes for adults . All of our joke pages are family friendly and fun for kids except for the adult Halloween jokes page.

100+ Frightfully Funny Ghost Jokes And Puns To Give You The Chills

ghost jokes and puns

Everyone loves a good joke… even if that joke is technically “bad.” What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke ? Honestly, it often depends on who’s telling the joke or who is listening. We thought about it for a while and here’s how we decided to tell the difference: If you laugh at a joke, it’s good and if you laugh or smile, but roll your eyes then it’s a “bad joke.” Groundbreaking, isn’t it?

Whether we’re straight-up laughing or doing a bit of eye-rolling, it doesn’t matter to us. A joke is a joke is a joke. All attempts at fun and humor are greatly appreciated. And, with Halloween always creeping closer, we’re ready to laugh at Halloween’s expense . We want witch jokes and zombie jokes. We even want pumpkin jokes . Right now, though, we’re here for the ghost jokes. Clearly you are, too. So, enjoy these amazingly ghoul’d (and boo’d) ghost jokes on us.

Let the Ghost Jokes Begin

1. Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos.

2. Why did the ghost starch his sheet ?

He wanted everyone scared stiff.

3. What do you say when you catch a ghost?

Gotchu Boo!

4. Where do ghosts buy their food ?

At the ghost-ery store!

5. How do you know when a ghost is sad?

He starts boo hooing.

6. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

Ghoul-keeper.

7. Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Any old friend he could dig up.

8. What’s a little ghost’s favorite game?

Hide and shriek.

9. What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house?

Hope that it’s Halloween!

10. What’s the ghost’s favorite thing about Thanksgiving dinner?

The grave-y.

11. What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?

Lemon and slime.

12. Why do ghosts hate the rain?

It dampens their spirits.

Even More Punny Ghost Jokes

13. What room in a ghost’s house is most unnecessary?

The living room.

14. Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver?

He didn’t have the stomach for it.

15. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Day”scare” centers.

16. When are ghosts the most scary?

On Fright-day.

17. What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet?

A hole-y terror.

18. Why are some ghosts so happy?

Every shroud has a silver lining.

19. What does a panda ghost eat for dinner?

20. Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale?

He’s a bargain haunter.

21. Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?

Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.

22. What advice do ghosts give their children?

Only spook when spoken to.

23. What is in a ghost’s nose?

24. When do ghosts eat breakfast?

In the moaning.

Still More Ghost Jokes and Puns

25. What’s a monster’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.

26. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!

27. What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces?

A toastie ghostie.

28. Where does a ghost go on vacation?

29. How do ghosts stay fit?

By exorcising daily.

30. Where did the ghost go on holiday?

The Boohamas.

31. Where the ghost go on holiday the next year?

Lake Eerie.

32. What did the mama ghost say to her baby?

Fasten your sheet belt.

33. How did Scrooge end up with the football?

The ghost of Christmas passed.

34. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.

35. What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?

A human bean.

36. What do you call a truly funny ghost comedian?

Dead funny!

Still More Ghost Jokes

37. Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat?

38. Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?

39. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

No haunting license

40. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

41. Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?

Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

42. What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases

43. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?

“Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.”

44. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room?

45. Why do ghosts like elevators?

They raise their spirits.

46. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?

Boo-berry pie.

47. What do ghosts eat for supper?

48. What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Shamboo!

One Last Round of Ghost Jokes

49. Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store.

50. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It raises their spirits.

51. How do ghosts find out their future?

They read their horror-scopes.

52. Who did the ghost take to prom?

His ghoulfriend.

53. Where do ghosts like to trick or treat?

54. What kind of horse does a ghost ride?

A nightmare.

55. Who do vampires buy their cookies from?

The Ghoul Scouts.

56. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.

57. What’s the teen ghost’s favorite kind of makeup?

58. What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg?

A hobblin’ goblin.

59. What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist?

His house was repossessed.

60. How can you tell that vampires love baseball?

They turn into bats every night.

61. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

62. Why don’t mummies take vacations?

They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

63. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetite!

64. What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know which witch is which.

65. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck.

66. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend.

67. Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends?

They’re too wrapped up in themselves.

Punny Ghost Pick-up Lines

Most ghost jokes are going to be for your kiddos. But, what if you want to add a little goofy ghoulishness to your conversations with your partner? These pick-up lines are ghost themed and pretty cute. Shoot them over in a text, leave them on your lover’s Facebook wall or slip them onto a note in their wallet.

68. Are there any spirits in you?

Would you like one?

69. I think I’m a ghost because I’m willing to walk through fire and walls just to be with you.

70. Hey boo, am I dead or am I wilting for you?

71. I bet you’re a freak in the sheets. I mean a ghost.

72. I dressed up as a ghost… Wanna get under the sheets?

73. I’ve got that invisible touch.

74. If I could rearrange the cemetery, I’d put boo and I together.

75. Are you possessed by a ghost? Because you’re the only phenomenon I see.

76. Your grave or mine?

77. If I had arms, I’d hug you.

78. I’d never ghost you… not even on Halloween.

79. Will you be my boo?

80. I’m a ghoul for you.

81. Do you wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

That’s the spirit.

82. A ghost walks into a bar at 4 am.

The bartender says: “sorry, we don’t serve spirits after 3.”

83. What did the ghost say to his friend on the 4th of July?

Red, white, and boooo.

84. It’s scary how good you look.

85. Are you a monster, because you look Frank fine.

86. I’m not a bat but a night with me will turn your world upside down.

87. Are you a ghost? Because I think you should be my boo.

88. You must be a zombie, because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.

89. That skeleton over there said they’d get your number for me but they didn’t have the guts, so here I am.

90. Are you a bat? Because I sure am hung up on you.

91. The scariest thing about tonight is how good we’d look together.

92. Are you a mummy? Because you’re keeping your love for me under wraps.

93. I may be Dracula, but I don’t want to stay a bat-chelorette. Let’s go out.

94. Hey, wanna fang — I mean hang — out?

95. Are you a ghost? Because I can see right through to your soul.

96. I bet you’re a real freak in the sheets. Wait. Ghost. I meant I bet you’re a ghost. Happy Halloween?

97. Are you a ghost? Because I see you as my boo.

98. Can I be your boo?

99. I should have dressed as a ghost tonight so that I could get you under my sheets.

100. Are you’re a girl or a ghoul? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.

101. Heeeeey, Boo! Got any room for me under that sheet?

102. Is there a ghost in your pants/dress? Because there’s definitely something paranormal happening under there.

103. Boy, I wanna die for you and then come back and haunt your bedroom.

This article was originally published on Aug. 4, 2020

ghost halloween jokes

130 Funny Halloween Jokes to Put You in a Scary-Good Mood

Right this way for corny riddles, puns and more!

preview for These Hilarious Halloween Costumes Are Perfect for Pun Lovers

How you go about inducing laughter this Halloween is up to you, but make sure you keep the jokes rolling all night long. In our list of spooky quips, we’ve included Dad jokes , hilarious sayings to match your punny costumes , knock knock jokes, ghost jokes and, of course, a couple of phrases inspired by the best Halloween memes .

While some of these phrases may be a little bit cornier than others, you can count on them to at least bring a smile to the face of anyone within earshot. They are the perfect icebreaker to start off any Halloween bash , and can also come in handy during your party games .

Trust us, the key to unlocking a wickedly-funny Halloween is at your fingertips.

Funny Halloween Trick-or-Treat Jokes

  • Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends? She was ex-spelled from school.
  • What is white, black and dead all over? A zombie trick or treating in a tuxedo.
  • When do zombies finish trick or treating? When they are dead tired.
  • Why shouldn't an angry witch take her broom trick or treating? She might fly off the handle.
  • How do ghosts do their makeup before they go out trick or treating? They use vanishing cream.
  • What do vampires take to get around on Halloween night? A blood vessel.
  • Why did the skeleton run away? Because a dog was after his bones.
  • How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? He felt it in his bones.
  • How did the zombie become great a trick or treating? Dead-ication.
  • What is a vampire's favorite halloween candy? A sucker.
  • How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating? She checks her witch watch.
  • What is a monster's favorite halloween candy? Bugs and (Hershey's) kisses.
  • Why didn't anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula? Because he is a pain in the neck.
  • Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy? They don't have the stomach for it.
  • What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night? A monster truck.
  • What do birds give to trick or treaters? Tweets.
  • Where do ghosts like to trick or treat? At dead ends.
  • Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween? His fang-club.
  • What is a ghoul's favorite candy flavor? Lemon and slime.
  • Why don't vampires eat a lot of Halloween candy? They're afraid of tooth decay.
  • What is a baby ghost's favorite game to play on Halloween? Peek-a-boo.
  • What did the child say when they had to choose between their tricycle and candy? Trike or treat.
  • What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween? A goblin.
  • Who does a werewolf go trick or treating with? His cousins What wolf and When wolf.
  • Where do werewolves store all of their Halloween candy? In a werehouse.
  • What do birds say on Halloween? "Trick or tweet!"
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
  • Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
  • What do owls say when they go trick or treating? "Happy Owl-ween!"
  • What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
  • Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
  • What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
  • What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
  • What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? "Trick-or-feet!"
  • Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
  • What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
  • What happens when a vampire tries to trick or treat in the snow? Frost bite!
  • What do you call two witches trick or treating together? Broommates

children playing with halloween decoration

Hilarious Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Ghost says! Ghost says who? No, ghost says boo!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Woo! Woo who? Yeah, I'm excited for Halloween too!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Essen! Essen who? Essen it fun to listen to Halloween jokes.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Fozzie! Fozzie who? Fozzie hundredth time, trick or treat!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Iran! Iran who? Iran over here to get some Halloween candy.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Al! Al who? Al exchange Twizzlers for Skittles.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Diane! Diane who? I'm Diane to eat my Halloween candy.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe please give me more candy.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Imogen! Imogen who? Imogen Halloween without trick or treating.
  • Knock Knock? Who's there ? Figs! Figs who? Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to give me more candy.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it's Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, W-H-O.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Norway. Norway who? Norway I will leave until I get candy!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Tyson. Tyson who? Tyson garlic around your neck to keep the vampires away.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida whole bag of candy.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Felix. Felix who? Felix-cited about Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome candy to me.
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Havana. Havana who? Havana awesome time this Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you dress up for Halloween this year?
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Omar. Omar who? Omar gosh, that’s a cool costume.
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin your candy jar.
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Hutch. Hutch who? Bless you.
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie Who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry … it's just my Halloween costume!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butter! Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs! Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans! Hans who? Hans off my candy!
  • Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ivana! Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
  • Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!

Cute Halloween Food Jokes

  • Why did the scarecrow comedian get booed? Because all of his jokes were corny.
  • What did the happy pumpkin say? Life is gourd.
  • Which plants love Halloween the most? Bam-Boo!
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from the roof? Squash.
  • What is a zombie's favorite kind of food? Brain food.
  • What is a ghost's favorite kind of drink? Ghoul-aid.
  • What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party? Spare-ribs.
  • Why did the scarecrow decline dessert? He was already stuffed.
  • What does a little witch use to bake? An easy bake coven.
  • What does a ghost put on his turkey? Grave-y.
  • How do monsters prepare their eggs? Terror-fried.
  • What is a monster's favorite cheese? Munster.
  • What kind of cereal does a ghost have for breakfast? Rice Creepies.
  • What is Dracula's favorite cake flavor? Vein-ella.
  • Where do ghosts shop for all of their meals? The ghostery store.
  • How does the scarecrow like to drink his milk? With a straw.
  • Where does a vampire eat his lunch? In the casketeria.
  • What is a zombie's least favorite candy? Life Savers.
  • Why do skeletons love to drink milk? It's good for the bones.
  • What is a skeleton's favorite snack? A cinnabone.
  • What does a werewolf eat for breakfast? A pooched egg.
  • Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
  • Why was all of the food gone at the end of the Halloween party? Everyone was a goblin.
  • What is a zombie's favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
  • What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? A straw-berry.
  • How do you spell candy with only two letters? C and Y.
  • Why couldn't the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? It was grounded.
  • Why don't witches like Starbucks coffee? They prefer to brew their own.
  • Why don't monsters eat popcorn with their fingers? They eat fingers separately.
  • What is a mummy's favorite thing to eat for lunch? A chicken wrap.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
  • What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? "Bone Appetit!"
  • What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
  • What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
  • What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
  • What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
  • What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
  • What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
  • What’s a ghost's favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
  • What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
  • Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!

Comical Halloween Monster Jokes

  • What do you call a skeleton that is cleaning up? The grim sweeper.
  • How do zombies serve the country? In the Marine Corpse.
  • What did the zombie say to his date? I love a woman with brains.
  • Who won the dance contest at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
  • What holiday does a vampire love more than Halloween? Fangs-giving.
  • Why did the witch take a nap? She wanted to rest a spell.
  • What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Keep your eyes on the board while I go through it again.
  • What do you say when you catch a ghost? I got you, boo!
  • What does a zombie wear to make their eyes pop? Ma-scare-a!
  • How does a ghost cry when it’s sad? Boo! Hoo.
  • What do you do when zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween.
  • What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
  • How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? Use the lights witch.
  • What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
  • What do you call a skeleton who never does his chores? Lazy bones.
  • What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in humans?
  • How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
  • What does a ghost call a mistake? A boo boo.
  • What do ghosts dress up in on Halloween? Pillowcases.
  • What do you call two spiders that were just married? Newley webbed.
  • What did a zombie tell the other? Get a life!
  • What do you call two married spiders? The newly webs.
  • Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
  • Where do ghost parents take baby ghosts? Day-scare.
  • What transportation does a skeleton take? A skelecopter.
  • Why did the Headless Horseman apply to college? He wanted to get ahead in life.
  • Why are skeletons always so relaxed? Nothing gets under their skin.
  • What is a monster's favorite game? Hide and shriek.
  • Why did the skeleton quit his job? His heart was not in it.
  • What kind of dog does a vampire have? A bloodhound.
  • Why didn't the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
  • What made the witch go to the hospital? She had a dizzy spell.
  • How do you know a mummy caught a cold? It starts coffin.
  • Why did the ghost cancel his comedy show? He didn't want to get booed.
  • What is a witch's favorite subject? Spelling.
  • Where do ghosts like to go swimming? The Dead Sea.
  • What monster is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
  • Where can a monster get a tattoo? At Monster's Ink.
  • Why don't mummies have any friends? They're too wrapped up in themselves.
  • What do you call an observant wolf? Awarewolf.
  • What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner? They gave him the cold shoulder.
  • Why did the baby ghost cry? He missed his mummy.
  • Who won the skeleton beauty pageant? No-body.
  • What did Dracula say about his wife? It was love at first bite.
  • Where do ghosts love to vacation? Mali-boo.
  • Why did the ghost get a ticket on Halloween? He didn't have a haunting license.
  • What did Frankenstein say when he woke up from his nap? I had a shocking dream.
  • What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  • What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
  • Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
  • Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
  • Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie? He didn't have the guts.
  • What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? "You sure are boo-tiful!"
  • Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
  • Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
  • Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
  • What is a vampire's favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
  • Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
  • What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
  • What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
  • What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
  • Why is a cemetery the best place to write a story? Because it has so many plots!

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LaffGaff

Funny Ghost Jokes Anyone Can Remember

These scarily funny ghost jokes and puns are sure to raise your spirits ! Yes, there’s no nightmarish bad jokes here, in fact they’re all dead funny! So enjoy!

A collection of spooky but funny ghost jokes

Hilarious Ghost Jokes For Kids

Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?

Boo-tiques.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Who do you call when the graveyard needs a spring clean?

Ghostdusters.

What do ghosts eat for tea?

Spook-etti.

What does the daddy ghost say to his family when they get in the car?

Fasten your sheet belts.

A ghost walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.”

Why don’t ghosts go out in the rain?

Because it dampens their spirits.

What’s the favorite game at ghosts’ birthday parties?

Hide And Shriek.

What’s a ghost’s favorite bedtime story?

Ghoul Deluxe And The Three Scares.

How do ghosts learn songs?

They read the sheet music.

How do ghosts travel?

On the ghost train.

How do ghosts like their eggs?

Terri-fried.

What do short-sighted ghosts wear?

Spook-tacles.

What’s a ghost’s favorite type of bird?

A scare crow.

Where do ghosts live?

In a dead end street.

What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.

What kind of ghosts do you find at the top of sky scrapers?

High spirits.

How does a ghost say goodbye to a vampire?

So long, sucker!

Why are the ghosts in graveyards so noisy?

Because of the coffin.

What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?

A dead ringer.

What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?

A holy terror.

What kind of horses do ghosts ride?

Night-mares.

Why did the ghost go to the disco?

Because he liked to boo-gie.

What’s a ghost’s favorite day of the week?

Fright-day.

Who writes all the books about haunted houses?

Ghostwriters.

What does a ghost call his true love?

His ghoul-friend.

Why are ghosts terrible liars?

Because you can see right through them.

Why do ghosts love to eat health food so much?

Because it’s super natural.

Why are ghosts so fat?

Because they’re scared to exorcise.

Why did the tiny ghost join the football team?

He heard they needed a little team spirit.

Wanna hear a joke about a ghost?

That’s the spirit.

How do ghosts remember who to scare?

They have a to-boo list.

If you admire a female ghost …

Do you respectre?

I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day.

I knew it would come back to haunt me.

Why did the ghost cross the road?

To get to the other side.

When a street performer dies …

Does he become a ghost busker?

Who did the scary ghost invite to their party?

Any old friend they could dig up.

What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost in the car?

Fasten your sheet belt.

What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces?

A toasty ghosty.

Where did the ghost go on holiday?

Lake Eerie.

What do you call a ghost who shops in the sales?

A bargain haunter.

Where do ghosts like to trick or treat?

How did Scrooge end up with the football?

The ghost of Christmas passed.

What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

Look at the board while I go through it again.

What do you call a ghost comedian?

Dead funny.

When do ghosts eat breakfast?

In the moaning.

What does a panda ghost eat?

Jokes About Ghosts

If you enjoyed this collection of scarily funny ghost jokes and ghost puns, be sure to check out our ghost riddles , as well as the rest of our Halloween jokes for kids and adults too, including these:

  • Black Cat Jokes.
  • Broom Stick Jokes.
  • Cannibal Jokes.
  • Dracula Jokes.
  • Frankenstein Jokes.
  • Funny Halloween Jokes For Adults.
  • Funny Halloween Quotes.
  • Halloween Knock Knock Jokes.
  • Halloween Puns.
  • Halloween Riddles For Kids.
  • Halloween Trivia Questions.
  • Haunted House Jokes.
  • Jack-O-Lantern Jokes.
  • Monster Jokes.
  • Mummy Jokes.
  • Pumpkin Jokes.
  • Scary Jokes.
  • Skeleton Jokes.
  • Spider Jokes.
  • Vampire Jokes.
  • Werewolf Jokes.
  • Witch Jokes.
  • Zombie Jokes.

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Confessions of Parenting- Games, Jokes and Fun

100 Spooky Boo-Tastic Ghost Jokes

Last Updated on February 2, 2024 by Michele Tripple

This post contains affiliate links. If you click and buy we may make a commission, at no additional charge to you. Please see our disclosure for more details.

Halloween is just around the corner and there is always so much to do to get ready. One of our favorite things about this time of year are the fun Halloween jokes for kids to really get them in the mood of the season, especially these epic ghost jokes to really set the mood! If you are looking for even more Halloween-themed jokes we have you covered with these Halloween Lunch Box jokes , skeleton jokes , and even some awesome pumpkin jokes to help the laughs keep coming!

a ghost woamn on haunted staircase on half the image with a pink background on the left with a white oval with red border with a image of  a ghost outline and teal writing "the best ghost jokes"

Ready For More Jokes! Be Sure To Grab These Too!

  • Funny Fish Jokes
  • Bowling Jokes
  • Road Trip Jokes

ghost halloween jokes

The Best Ghost Jokes

white background with blue border, white ghost with ghost jokes for kids

  • What do ghosts turn on in summer?  The scare-conditioner!
  • Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
  • What do witches put in their hair? Scare spray!
  • Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite tree? Ceme-trees!
  • Why do ghosts ride elevators?  It raises their spirits.
  • Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He needed a boo-ster shot.
  • Where do baby ghosts spend the day when their parents are at work? Day-scare.
  •  What’s a pirate ghost’s favorite kind of tea? Boo-tea.
  • What old-fashioned advice do ghosts give their kids? Only spook when spoken to.
  • What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
  • How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
  • What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
  • What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg?  A hobblin’ goblin.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
  • Why was the baby ghost crying? He wanted his Mummy!
  • What’s the teen ghost’s favorite kind of makeup? Concealer
  • What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
  • What did one ghost ask the other? Do you believe in humans?
  • What game do ghosts play? Hide and shriek.

white background with blue border, white ghost with ghost jokes for kids

  • Why was the ghost mad at her spouse? He was dead wrong.
  • Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
  • What’s a little ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream.
  • What day do ghosts do their howling?  On Moan-day!
  • What do you call a ghost in the fireplace? A toasty ghosty.
  • What places are on the ghost family’s beach-vacation shortlist? Boo-dapest, The Boo-hamas, and Mali-boo.
  • Who did Frankenstein take to the date? His ghoul friend.
  • Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts.
  • Why did the police officer arrest the ghost? Because he didn’t have a haunting license.
  • What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
  • How do ghosts prefer their eggs? Terri-fried.
  • What does a ghost panda eat? Bam-boo.
  • Why did the ghost get arrested? For possession
  • What kind of cars do ghosts drive? Boo-gattis.
  • Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
  • Do you want to hear a joke about ghosts? That’s the spirit.
  • How does a ghost unlock a door? Using a spoo-key.
  • Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house? He was homesick.
  • What do fat ghosts need to do to lose weight? Need a Lot of Exorcise
  • What does an Australian ghost eat for dessert? Boo meringue
  • What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo? A booffalo.
  • When does a ghost eat dinner?  In the moaning.
  • Why did the judge deny the ghost bail?  Too much of a fright risk
  • Who did the ghost go to the dance with? His ghoul-friend.
  • Why didn’t the ghost eat the local delicacy? He didn’t have the stomach for it.

white background with blue border, white ghost with ghost jokes for kids

  • Why do ghosts get along so well with demons? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
  • Where do ghosts buy their foods? At the ghost-ery store
  • What is a popular search engine for ghosts? Ghoul-gle!
  • Why can’t ghosts have babies? Because they have hollow weenies.
  • What do you call a hairy monster in a river?  A weir-wolf!
  • What do ghosts eat with meatballs? Spook-etti.
  • What are ghosts’ favorite thing to read? BOOks
  • What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
  • What position does a ghost play on the soccer field? Ghoul-keeper.
  • What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bam-Boo
  • Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.
  • Why was the ghost feel embarrassed? He had a boo-ger.
  • How do ghosts cry when they’re sad? Boo-hoo!
  • Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!
  • What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.
  • Where do ghosts mail letters? The ghost office.
  • What day do ghosts love to do their scaring? On Fright-day.
  • What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
  • What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trombone.
  • What kind of street does a ghost live on? A dead end.

white background with blue border, white ghost with ghost jokes for kids

  • What medicine do ghosts take for colds? Coffin drops.
  • How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo!
  • Are you a ghost? Because you’re looking like my boo.
  • What do witches race on? Vroomsticks!
  • Why do ghosts diet? So they can maintain their ghoulish figures.
  • What if a bank gets robbed by ghosts? Then it’s a Polterheist.
  •   What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
  • Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
  • On which day are ghosts most scary? Fright-day!
  • Where do mommy ghost leave their babies during working hours? At Dayscare centers!
  • Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends? They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
  • What room does a ghost not need? A living room!
  • What is a ghost’s nose full of? Boooooogers.
  • What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetite!

Do you have some great ghost jokes? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. With her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer, Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.

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Ghost Jokes

Ghost  jokes.

A sheet full of funny ghost jokes for kids that love a goo laugh when Halloween is near!

Q: How did the glamorous ghost earn her living? A: She was a cover ghost!

Q: How can you tell if a ghost is angry? A: It turns red!

Q: How did the ghost patch his sheet? A: With a pumpkin patch!

Q: What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost? A: A mouth full of sheet!

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert? A: Ice Scream!

Q: Why did the ghost starch her sheet? A: 
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff!

Q: What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A: 
A little holy terror!

Q: Where do ghosts mail their letters? A: 
At the ghost office!

Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A: 
A dead ringer!

Q: Why are so few ghosts arrested? A: It’s hard to pin anything on them!

Q: How do ghosts learn songs? A: They read the sheet music!

Q: How do well-groomed ghosts keep their hair in place? A: With scare spray!

– A pretty girl wanted to marry a ghost. – I don’t know what possessed her!

Q: What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains? A: Boo‐ts and ghoul‐oshes!

Q: What color are ghosts? A: Boooo!

Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet? A: Boo‐ties!

Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A: Ghoul‐aid!

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: A dead hoblin goblin!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, poodle, and a ghost? A: A cocker‐poodle‐boo!

Q: What does a ghost go if they want to swim? A: The Dead Sea!

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A: He is mist.

Q: What kind of cars do ghosts drive? A: Boo‐‐icks!

Q: What kind of horses do ghost kids like to ride? A: Night‐mares!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a chicken and a ghost? A: A peck‐a‐boo!

Q: What’s a ghost favorite game? A: Hide‐and‐Go‐Shriek.

Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A: Anywhere where he can boo‐gie.

Q: Who protects the shores where spirits live? A: The Ghost Guard!

Q: Why did the ghosts put a fence around the cemetery? A: People were dying to get in!

Q: Why is the letter G scary? A: It turns a host into a ghost!

Q: Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? A: Because demons are a ghosts best friend!

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A: He didn’t have a haunting license!

Q: Why are ghosts bad at telling lies? A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: Who writes all the books about haunted houses? A: Ghostwriters, who else?

Q: Who did the ghost invite to his party? A: Anyone he could dig up!

Q: Where do ghosts go in October? A: The coffin of the year show.

Q: Where do ghost trains stop? A: At devil crossings!

Q: Where do Australian ghosts go on holiday? A: Lake Eerie!

Q: What vehicle does a kid ghost like to ride? A: A boocycle!

Q: What time is it when a ghost haunts your house? A: Time to move to a new house!

Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost? A: How do you boo, sir?

Q: What kind of mistakes do spooks make? A: Boo boos!

Q: What kind of ghost haunts skyscrapers? A: Higher spirits!

Q: What is a ghost’s favourite day of the week? A: Frightday!

Q: What is a ghost proof cycle? A: One with no spooks in it!

Q: What ghost helped the Little League’s win their game? A: The team spirit!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite bird? A: A scare crow.

Q: What medicine do ghosts take for colds? A: Coffin drops!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit? A: Booberries!

Q: What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get in a car? A: They boo‐kle their seatbelts!

Q: Why wasn’t the ghost successful? A: He didn’t believe in himself!

Q: Why don’t ghosts go out in the rain? A: It dampers down their spirits!

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A: For the Boos!

Ghost Jokes 4

Q: Why did the ghost become a lousy comedian? A: For the boos!

Q: Why are ghosts cowards? A: Because they’ve got no guts!

Q: Who writes ghosts jokes? A: Crypt writers!

Q: Who greets you at the door of a haunted house? A: A ghost host!

Q: Where does a ghost refuel his porche? At a ghastly station!

Q: When do ghosts usually appear? A: Just before someone screams!

Q: What type of music do ghosts prefer? A: Spiritual, of course.

Q: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? A: Whipped scream!

Q: What patriotic song do ghosts like best? A: America the Boo‐tiful!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? A: Boo‐berry pie with I‐scream!

Q: What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar? A: The bartender said “Sorry sir, we don’t serve spirits here.”

Q: What do short‐sighted ghosts wear? A: Spooktacles!

Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner? A: Ghoulash or spook‐ghetti!

Q: What did the polite ghost say to her son? A: Don’t spook until you’re spooken to!

Q: What did one ghost say to another? A: Do you believe in people?

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite kind of street? A: A dead end!

Q: What airline do ghosts fly on? A: American Scareways!

Q: How do ghosts like their drinks? A: Ice ghoul!

Q: How did the ghost song and dance act make a living? A: By appearing in television spooktaculars!

Q: What do little ghosts drink? A: 
Evaporated milk.

Q: Why did the ghost cross the road? A: To get to “THE OTHER SIDE”

Q: What did the little ghost have in his rock collection? A: 
Tombstones!

Q: How do ghosts keep fit? A: By regular exorcise!

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A: 
Dayscare centers!

Q: What country is haunted by ghosts? A: No country, just a terror‐tory!

Q: What did one ghost say to the other when they fell down? A: I got a booo booo!

Q: What do ghosts dance to? A: Soul music!

Q: What do teenage ghosts dance to? A: Soulless music!

Q: What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A: Coffee with a scream and some sugar!

Q: What do ghosts have in the seats of their cars? A: Sheet belts!

Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class? A: Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!

Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost? A: Do you really believe in people?

Q: What kind of jewels to ghosts wear? A: Tombstones!

Q: What trees do ghouls like best? A: Ceme‐trees!

Q: Who represents ghosts in Congress? A: The Spooker of the House!

Q: Why are ghosts in graveyards so noisy? A: Because of all the coffin!

Q: Why wasn’t the ghost popular at parties? A: He wasn’t much to look at!

Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A: Because he is always a goblin!

Q: What story do little ghosts like to hear at bedtime? A: Ghoul warlocks and the Three Scares!

Q: What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw seven ghosts walking behind you? A: Hope it is Halloween!

Q: Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost? A: It had a nervous breakdown!

Q: Why did the ghost rush home from school? A: To watch an after‐ghoul special on TV!

Q: How do ghosts like their eggs cooked? A: Terri-fried!

Q: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? A: You look boo‐tiful tonight!

Q: What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? A: Scream or sugar!

Q: What do little ghosts like to play with instead of Frisbees? A: Boo‐merangs!

Q: What do you call a prehistoric ghost? A: A terror‐dactyl!

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo!

Q: What do young ghouls write their homework in? A: Exorcise books!

Q: What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning? A: Boonanas and Booberries!

Q: What does a little ghost call his mother and father? A: His trans‐parents!

Q: What fairy tale do all little girl ghosts like best? A: Sleeping Boo‐ty!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite party game? A: Hide‐and‐go‐shriek!

Q: What is one room a ghost’s house doesn’t need? A: A living room!

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best? A: One with a dead end!

Q: What rides do ghosts like best at the amusement park? A: The Scream roller ghoster!

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast? A: In the moaning!

Q: Where do small ghosts go during the night when their parents are out scare people? A: All nightscare centers!

Q: Where do fashionable ghosts shop for new high quality sheets? A: At their favorite boo‐tiques.

Q: Where do ghosts buy their household items? A: At the ghost‐ery store.

Q: Where do ghosts live? A: In a terror‐tory!

Q: Where does Sitting Bull’s ghost live? A: In a creepy teepee!

Q: Who speaks at the ghosts’ press conference? A: The spooksperson!

Q: Who did the ghost go with to the Halloween party? A: With No‐Body that had a body!

Q: Why did the doctor tell the ghost to go on a diet? A: So she could keep floating higher off the ground.

Q: Why did the ghost go to the doctor? A: To get a Booster shot!

Q: What do you call a roomful of baby ghosts? A: A bunch of boo‐boos.

Q: What do the ghosts of dead gingerbread men wear? A: Cookie sheets!

Q: What did the guard at the haunted house say? A: Halt! Who ghost there?

Q: What do ghosts do when they’re in hospital? A: They talk about their apparitions!

Q: What day of the week do ghosts look forward to? A: Moanday!

Q: What did the ghost bride throw to her bridesmaids? A: Her boo‐quet!

Q: What do ghosts mail home while on vacation? A: Spooky ghostcards.

Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A: Ghoul! Really ghoul!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite Broadway play? A: Phantom of the opera!

Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A: Mas‐scare‐a!

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? A: Surgical spirits!

Q: What keeps ghost happy? A: The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

Q: What happened when the ghosts went on strike? A: A skeleton staff took over!

Q: What do you have to take to become a coroner? A: A stiff exam!

Q: What do you call a ghost who was born in a house fire? A: A toasty ghosty!

Q: What do you call a torn sheet ghost? A: A holy terror!

Q: What do little ghosts drink? A: Hot evaporated milk!

Q: What do you call a ghost that likes to boast? A: The boastful ghost!

Q: What did the ghost have a helium balloon tied to it? A: It was a cripple ghost!

Q: Why to ghosts feel so light? A: They are low in fat!

Q: What type of food do ghosts eat? A: Fat free!

Q: Why was the ghost so bright? A: He was using a sheet of gold leaf!

Q: Why do ghosts hate Halloween? A: All the kids think they are other kids!

Q: Why did the ghost have a beef with the zombie? A: The zombie stole his body!

Q: What number do kid ghost call in an emergencies? A: Boo-boo-boo!

Q: Why did the vampire think the ghost was drunk? A: It kept crashing into walls!

Q: Why does the ghost ship never sink? A: It floats in the air!

What Are Ghosts?

In the mythology of the United States and many other Western cultures, a ghost or spirit is a dead person who interacts with the living world. In stories, a ghost may whisper or groan, cause things to move or fall, mess with electronics — even appear as a shadowy, blurry or see-through figure. More here !

Ghost Jokes CT

Find More Funny Spooky Jokes For Halloween Here

Monster Jokes   |  Witch Jokes | Vampire Jokes | Zombie Jokes

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145 Laugh-Out-Loud Halloween Jokes and Riddles for Kids and Adults

Reader beware: Corny jokes lie ahead.

preview for The History of Halloween Costumes

Looking for jokes about ghosts, goblins, vampires, skeletons, witches, pumpkins, or zombies? We've got all of those plus plenty of Halloween puns , dad jokes (and mummy jokes!), and good ole knock-knock jokes too. They make funny one-liners for kids and for adults alike come October 31.

So as you decorate with pumpkins and more and scare up spooky appetizers for your gatherings, don't forget some humerus words to lighten the mood even in the most grave situations. Whether you are off to a costume party, handing out candy, or trick-or-treating, you're sure to find plenty to make you laugh here. (And if you want to laugh all the more, try out one of these funny Halloween costumes .) Now for those Halloween jokes we promised...

Funny Ghost and Goblin Jokes

dog wearing a ghost costume sitting between pumpkins for halloween

  • Who did the ghost take on a date? His ghoul-friend.
  • Why wouldn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with him.
  • What position does the ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
  • What did the ghost say when he realized he'd been cheated? I've been bam-BOO-zled!
  • Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
  • Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.
  • What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
  • Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
  • Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
  • Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
  • What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
  • Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
  • What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-Scream!
  • Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
  • How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
  • How do you know you've been ghosted? The poltergeist doesn't text you back.
  • What's a ghost's favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
  • What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car? Fasten your sheet-belts.
  • What kind of horse do ghosts ride? A night-mare
  • What room does a ghost not need in a house? A living room.
  • How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
  • Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? They have a lot of spirit!

Funny Mummy Jokes

child dressed in home made egyptian mummy costume

  • How do you know if a mummy is sick? He can't stop coffin.
  • What is the mummy's holiday job? Gift wrapper.
  • What kind of underwear do mummies buy? Fruit of the tomb.
  • Who did the little monster ask for when he was scared? His mummy.
  • What did the mummy film director say? That's a wrap.
  • Why did the mummy TP the tree? He needed somewhere to hang his clothes so he could go skinny dipping.
  • Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
  • What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
  • Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
  • Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
  • How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
  • What's a mummy's favorite thing about Christmas? The wrapping paper.
  • Where does a mummy go on vacation? The Dead Sea.
  • What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling
  • What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
  • Do mummies prefer white bread or wheat? Neither, they always prefer a wrap.

Funny Vampire Jokes

domestic dog on porch dressed in vampire costume for halloween

  • Why are vampires easily fooled? They're suckers.
  • Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
  • How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
  • What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
  • What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
  • How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
  • What's a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
  • Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much.
  • What's a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.
  • Why do vampires not want to become investment bankers? They hate stakeholders.
  • Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
  • What does the vampire's Valentine say? You're just my blood type.

Funny Skeleton Jokes

happy skeleton sitting in a chair

  • What did the skeleton say to the dog? Bone-appétit
  • Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
  • Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  • What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
  • What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  • Why didn't the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn't have the guts.
  • What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
  • Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
  • Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
  • Do you know any skeleton jokes? Yes, but you wouldn't find it very humerus.
  • What's a skeleton's favorite song? "Bad to the Bone."
  • Why can't skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
  • Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
  • Where did the skeleton keep his money? In the crypt-o market.
  • What kind of art do skeletons like? Skull tures.
  • What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? A trom- bone .

Funny Witch Jokes

child celebrating halloween

  • What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
  • What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
  • What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
  • What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
  • What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.
  • What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing? Get a broom!
  • Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
  • What's a witch's favorite makeup? Ma- scare -a.
  • What do witches get when their shoes are too tight? Candy corns.
  • How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
  • What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts? I don't know, but it's not working.
  • What do you call a witch with a rash? An itchy-witchy.
  • What's the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
  • How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.
  • Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.

Funny Pumpkin Jokes

pumpkins decorated with faces with eyes and mouths

  • Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • What's a pumpkin's favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
  • Why did the pumpkin take a detour? To avoid a seedy part of town.
  • How do you mend a jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
  • What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
  • Why was the jack-o'-lantern scared? Because it had no guts.
  • Why was the gourd so gossipy? To give 'em pumpkin to talk about.
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? Hollow-een.
  • Who helped the little pumpkin cross the road? The crossing gourd.
  • What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!
  • What's a pumpkin's favorite Western? The Gourd, the Bad, and the Ugly
  • Where does a pumpkin preach? From the pulp-it.
  • How do gourds grow big and strong? Pumpkin' iron.
  • Why did the jack-o-lantern fail out of school? Someone scooped his brains out.

Funny Zombie Jokes

group of young friends dressed in costumes reaching out towards the camera like zombies

  • Why don't zombies like pirates? They're too salty.
  • What's a zombie's favorite weather? Cloudy, with a chance of brain.
  • Why did the zombie become a mortician? To put food on the table.
  • What do you call zombies in pajamas? The sleepwalking dead.
  • Why aren't zombies ever arrested? They can't be captured alive.
  • What's a zombie's favorite treat? You might guess brain food, but it's actually eye candy.
  • What sea do zombies swim in? The Dead Sea.
  • What brand of shampoo do zombies use? Head and Shoulders.
  • Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
  • Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
  • What's a zombie's favorite cheese? Zom-brie.
  • What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love? A zom-com.
  • What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaains!
  • How do you know if a zombie likes someone? They ask for seconds.
  • What kind of bread do zombies like? Whole brain.
  • What is a zombie sleepover called? Mass grave.

Halloween Dad Jokes

father and son playing with halloween costumes

  • Did you hear about the coffin sale? That's the last thing I need.
  • What do you call a cow on Halloween? A boo-vine.
  • What's a monster's favorite cheese? Muenster.
  • Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
  • How do mummies start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
  • Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
  • How do you get rid of demons? Exorcise a lot.
  • I dropped my pumpkin yesterday. Jack-o-lantern? More like crack-o-lantern!
  • Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
  • I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very humerus.
  • Why don't I like Dracula? He's a pain in the neck.
  • How many cannibals does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know but you really shouldn't be in the dark with a cannibal.
  • What do dentists hand out at Halloween? Candy. It's good for business.
  • Who's the scariest body builder of all time? Dr. Frankenstein.
  • Why don't werewolves ever know the time? Because they're not whenwolves.
  • Why was the cemetery chosen to be the perfect location to write a movie? Because it had great plots.
  • What was the chicken ghost's name? Poultrygeist.
  • What type of plants do well on All Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
  • What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

playful kids enjoying a halloween party

  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you’ll never guess!
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob. Bob who? Bob for apples! It's Halloween.
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana eat all your candy.
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry, it's only Halloween.
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with candy!
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Ivana! Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it's Halloween?
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Figs! Figs who? Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you has my candy?
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Ice cream! Ice Cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Eddie! Eddie who? Eddie body home? It's Halloween!

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Life Family Fun

140 Best Halloween Jokes to Have Everyone Laughing

By Elisha Baba

Published on August 29, 2023

Halloween jokes are a fun way to keep a party alive. Start telling them as soon as the first pumpkins appear on porches around the neighborhood.

140 Best Halloween Jokes to Have Everyone Laughing

Everyone enjoys good jokes, and most of these Halloween-themed jokes are fit for kids or adults. Just beware, the best Halloween jokes are spooky and witchy.

140 Best Halloween Jokes for a Hilariously Spooky Holiday

Halloween dad jokes.

Halloween dad jokes are crowd-pleasers. But don’t be surprised if you get a lot of eye rolls in return – and not the spooky kind.

  • How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
  • What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash
  • How do gourds grow big and strong? Pumpkin’ iron.
  • What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
  • When do cows turn into werewolves? During the full moooooon.
  • Why is a cemetery the best place to write a story? Because it has so many plots.
  • Why did the pumpkin take a detour? To avoid a seedy part of town.
  • Who’s in charge of the candy corn? The kernel.
  • Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • Why did the Headless Horseman go to school? He wanted to get a-head in life.

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

Halloween knock-knock jokes are an idea for kids. They are easy to remember and they keep the mood spooky yet light.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Creep. Creep who? Creep it down, you’ll wake the dead.
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice Cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl-ween is here!
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Eddie! Eddie who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood, blah!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Boo hoo, don’t make a ghost cry.
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Bob. Bob who? Bob for apples! It’s Halloween.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen do you think Halloween will be here?
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with candy!
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ivana! Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ash. Ash who? A zombie with a cold.
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
  • Knock Knock. Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you has my candy?
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean waiting for Halloween all year long.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery scary ghost! Run!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream at zombies.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Minnie. Minnie who? Minnie people love Halloween.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eddy. Eddy who? Eddy-body will do for a zombie.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you don’t know who’s knocking!

Skeleton Jokes

Halloween skeleton jokes are great for breaking the ice. They tend to be mild and perfect for all ages.

  • Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
  • Do you know any skeleton jokes? Yes, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
  • What did the skeleton bring to the cookout? Spare ribs.
  • What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones
  • How do skeletons start their cars? With skeleton keys.
  • Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
  • How do you know a skeleton is sick? He’s coffin.
  • Why did the skeleton laugh? Something tickled its funny bone.
  • Why don’t skeletons skydive? They don’t have the stomach for it.
  • What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
  • Why did the skeleton put on a sweater? It was chilled to the bone.
  • What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
  • Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
  • Why’d the skeleton go the grocery store? Its pantry was down to the bare bones.
  • Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  • How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
  • Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
  • Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
  • Where did the skeleton keep his money? In the crypt-o market.
  • What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
  • What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.

Witchy Jokes

Witchy Halloween jokes are a favorite for Hocus Pocus fans. If you’re dressing as your favorite Sanderson sister, check out these.

  • What should you get a witch on her birthday? A charm bracelet.
  • Why do witches drink beer? They enjoy a good brew.
  • How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.
  • Where do witches park? In the broom closet.
  • What do witches’ study in school? Spelling.
  • What’s a witches’ pick-up line? Hey, you’ve got hex appeal!
  • What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.
  • What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
  • What do you call a witch with a rash? An itchy-witchy.
  • Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
  • What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing? Get a broom!
  • Did you hear about the witch that got school detention? She was ex-spelled.
  • What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
  • Why did the angry witch leave her broom at home? She didn’t want to fly off the handle.
  • Did you hear about the witch that couldn’t find work? It was a dry spell.
  • What do you call two witches who live together? Broommates.
  • Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
  • What do witches get when their shoes are too tight? Candy corns.
  • What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts? I don’t know, but it’s not working.
  • What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.

Halloween Jokes About Zombies/Mummies

Halloween jobs about zombies and mummies are similar. Both are ‘undead’ creatures that are common in Halloween movies.

  • What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling
  • Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
  • Do mummies prefer white bread or wheat? Neither, they always prefer a wrap.
  • Why did the mummy TP the tree? He needed somewhere to hang his clothes so he could go skinny dipping.
  • What do you call identical zombie twins? Dead ringers.
  • Did you hear about the angry zombie? It got bent out of shape.
  • Did you hear about the zombie who bought a new car? It cost an arm and a leg.
  • Did you hear about the zombie recital? The performance knocked ‘em dead.
  • Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
  • What’s a mummy’s favorite thing about Christmas? The wrapping paper.
  • Did you hear about the zombie that took a nap? It was dead tired.
  • What did the mummy film director say? That’s a wrap.
  • Why did the zombie lose the argument? It didn’t have a leg to stand on.
  • How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
  • Where should you hide if you’re being chased by zombies? The living room.
  • What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
  • Why did the zombie get fired? It missed its dead-line.
  • Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
  • Did you hear about the zombie the lost the race? It came in dead last.
  • Where does a mummy go on vacation? The Dead Sea.

Vampire Jokes

Vampire jokes are good choices for those watching Dracula on Halloween or rewatching The Vampire Diaries. You may notice a trend relating to blood and bats.

  • Why don’t vampires get invited to parties? They’re a pain in the neck.
  • What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
  • Did you hear about the vampire romance? It was love at first bite.
  • How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.
  • Did you hear about the new vampire laptop? It bytes.
  • Why did the vampire get glasses? It was as blind as a bat.
  • How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
  • Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
  • Did you hear about the crazy vampire? He was totally batty.
  • How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
  • Why did the vampire go to the dentist? It had bat breath.
  • Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
  • What shouldn’t you serve a vampire for dinner? Steak.
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.
  • Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much.
  • What do you call vampire siblings? Blood brothers.
  • What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
  • Did you hear about the vampire feud? There was bad blood.
  • What does the vampire’s Valentine say? You’re just my blood type.
  • What happens when vampires get mad? It makes their blood boil.
  • Where do vampires deposit their paychecks? At the blood bank.
  • Why do vampires avoid the cold? They don’t want to get frostbite.

Ghost Jokes

Halloween ghost jokes are classic. All you need is a white sheet and a good sense of humor to set the mood for a ghost joke.

  • How do ghosts predict the future? They check their horror-scope.
  • Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
  • Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
  • Why don’t ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
  • What kind of horse do ghosts ride? A night-mare
  • Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
  • What do ghosts wear if they can’t see? Spooktacles.
  • How do ghosts apply for jobs? They fill out apparitions.
  • Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.
  • What did the ghost say when he realized he’d been cheated? I’ve been bam-BOO-zled!
  • What do ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing cream.
  • Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
  • What do ghosts use to style their hair? Scare-spray.
  • How do you know you’ve been ghosted? The poltergeist doesn’t text you back.
  • What room does a ghost not need in a house? A living room.
  • How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
  • Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
  • Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? They have a lot of spirit!
  • What do ghosts drink? Ghoul-aid.
  • Why don’t ghosts do standup comedy? They always get booed.
  • What kind of rocks do ghosts collect? Tombstones.
  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.

About Elisha Baba

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Halloween jokes: 150 howlers and rib-ticklers that will make your kids scream with laughter

150 Halloween jokes that are frighteningly funny fit for ghoulish giggles

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Halloween jokes illustrated by laughing children carving pumpkins

Ghost Halloween jokes

  • Corny Halloween crackers

Dad Halloween jokes

Pumpkin halloween jokes, knock-knock halloween jokes.

  • Wicked witch jokes

Joanne Lewsley

Halloween jokes make for some spooky laughs and we have a roundup of the best Halloween jokes around, from ghost jokes, knock-knock Halloween jokes, and corny dad Halloween jokes - they'll have you cackling. 

For laughs all year round try our best dad jokes , knock-knock jokes or 180 jokes for kids . Halloween is the time for tricks and treats - and no treat is sweeter than a funny bone tickler. Don't be scared to read on for ghostly gags and monster mirth - these howlers are suitable for the whole family. 

Dad of three and Halloween joke master Matt tells us, “Every Halloween, I can't resist using the corniest puns to haunt my kids. Nothing is off limits, from cheesy vampire gags to silly skeleton jokes. They pretend to hate them, but I know they secretly love them… I think!”

Halloween jokes

  • Why do ghosts love to ride in lifts? Because it raises their spirits.
  • What's a ghost's favourite position in football? Ghoul-keeper.
  • Where does a ghost go on holiday? Mali-boo.
  • What kind of music do ghosts like to dance to? Soul music.
  • How do ghosts stay in shape? They exorcise regularly.
  • What do ghosts put on their Sunday dinner? Grave-y!
  • Why did the ghost become a chef? Because he wanted to make boo-rritos!
  • Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
  • Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
  • Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
  • What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-BOO!
  • What's a ghost's favourite game to play? Hide and shriek.
  • What do you find in a ghost’s nose? BOO-gies!
  • What do ghosts wear if they have bad eyesight? Spook-tacles
  • What's a ghost's favourite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster.
  • What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream! 
  • What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock their house? A spook-key
  • What are ghosts' favourite trees? Ceme-trees! 
  • What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
  • What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
  • Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
  • Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
  • Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store.
  • What room does a ghost not need? A living room!
  • What did the ghost say when he realised he'd been cheated? I've been bam-BOO-zled!

Ghost joke

Corny Halloween jokes

  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle their funny bone 
  • What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs 
  • Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie? They didn't have the guts 
  • What do skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetit!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?  Frostbite.
  • What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit? A neck–tarine!
  • Which Halloween monster is good at maths? Count Dracula!
  • Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank!
  • Why are vampires so unpopular? Because they're a pain in the neck!
  • Why don't mummies like going on holiday? They're worried they'll unwind!

Skeleton joke

  • What car does Frankenstein drive? A monster truck!
  • Which spooky animal is best at playing rounders? A bat!
  • Do zombies eat their trick-or-treat sweets with their fingers? No, they eat their fingers separately!
  • What day do monsters eat people? Chews-day!
  • What monster fits on the end of your finger? The bogeyman!
  • What kind of horse do ghosts ride? A nightmare
  • What is the mummy's holiday job? Gift wrapper.
  • Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
  • Why are vampires easily fooled? They're suckers.
  • What's a vampire's favourite ice cream flavour? Vein-illa.
  • Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
  • What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
  • Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have nobody to love.
  • Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  • What’s a ghoul’s favourite bean? A human bean.

Vampire joke

  • Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to go with 
  • What's the funniest day of the year? Ha-ha-Halloween!
  • What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween? Winnie the BOO!
  • What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet.
  • What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?  Wrap music!
  • Who did Frankenstein take to the disco? His ghoul-friend.
  • What is a skeleton's favourite instrument? A trombone.
  • How do mummies start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
  • How can you tell a vampire has a cold? They're always coffin!
  • Why don't skeletons fight each other?  Because they don't have the guts!
  • How do you make a witch itch? Take away the "w"!
  • Why was the scarecrow promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • What did one wall say to the other wall on Halloween? I'll meet you at the corner!
  • What do you get if you cross a black cat with a lemon? A sour-puss!Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
  • Why don't werewolves ever know the time? Because they're not whenwolves.
  • Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
  • Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
  • What's a skeleton's favourite song? "Bad to the Bone."
  • Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
  • Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
  • Did you hear about the coffin sale? That's the last thing I need.
  • How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
  • What Halloween treat is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
  • Who gives Dracula the most treats on Halloween? His fang-club.
  • How does a witch know the best time to go trick or treating? She checks her witch watch.

Pumpkin joke

  • What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin!
  • What’s a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash.
  • What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd umping.
  • What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”
  • What did one Pumpkin say to the other? “Happy Hollowing!”
  • Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
  • Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.
  • What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy? A mushy romance.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Things that go pumpkin the night!
  • What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • Where do pumpkins hold meetings? In the gourdroom.
  • What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd.
  • What does a pumpkin use to repair its trousers? A pumpkin patch!
  • Why was the pumpkin afraid to cross the road? It had no guts!
  • How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it's almost Halloween?
  • Why was Cinderella bad at football? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out
  • What did one sad pumpkin say to the other? I feel a little hollow inside.
  • What did the fast pumpkin say to the slow pumpkin? Patch you later!
  • Why are pumpkins so forgetful? Because they’re empty-headed.
  • What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
  • Why did the man slip on the pumpkin? It caught him off gourd.
  • What do pumpkins eat at the movies? Pulp Corn.

Knock knock joke

  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry, it's just my Halloween costume!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Ghost says! Ghost says who? No, ghost says boo!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Woo! Woo who? Yeah, I'm excited for Halloween too!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Justin! Justin who? Just in time for Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Diane! Diane who? I'm Diane to eat my Halloween candy.
  • Knock Knock? Who's there? Figs! Figs who? Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to give me more candy.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it's Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, W-H-O.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Tyson. Tyson who? Tyson garlic around your neck to keep the vampires away
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie Who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Tad. Tad who? Tad old black magic!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who?Dishes a very bad Halloween joke!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you will give me some Halloween candy?
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Twick. Twick who? Twick or Tweet!
  • Knock, Knock Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick?
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Vampire! Vampire who? Vampire state building!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Dustin! Dustin who? Dustin off last year's costume for you!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Voodoo! Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are!
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Hutch! Hutch who! Bless you, and trick or treat!

Witch joke

Witch Halloween jokes

  • What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
  • What do witches learn at school? Spelling 
  • What do you call a witch who lives at the seaside? A sand-witch.
  • What does a witch use to keep her hair up? Scare-spray! 
  • What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which. 
  • What do you call a witch with chickenpox? An itchy witch! 
  • What do the fastest witches use to get around? Vroomsticks! 
  • How do you make a witch itch? Take away the 'w'! 
  • What happens to witches who break school rules? They get hex-spelled!
  • What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
  • What do you call two witches trick or treating together? Broom mates
  • How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.
  • Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
  • Why is it good to drink witch's brew? It's very newt-tricious!
  • Why was the broom late? It overswept.
  • Knock, Knock! Who's there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
  • Why don't witches like coffee shops? They prefer to brew their own.
  • What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
  • How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? Use the lights witch.
  • What made the witch go to the hospital? She had a dizzy spell.
  • What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
  • What do witches in Australia ride? Broomerangs.
  • What is a witch's favorite TV show? Game of crones.
  • What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future? Witchful thinking.
  • Who's a witch's favourite movie director? Steven Spellberg.

If you and your kids enjoyed our hellish Halloween jokes and gruesome ghost jokes, then you'll adore 120 of the best dad jokes around , our funniest Christmas jokes for kids and adults and this collection of hilarious, kid-friendly jokes , perfect for ages 4 to 12.

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Joanne Lewsley is a freelance copywriter and editor who creates parenting, health and lifestyle content for evidence-based websites, including BabyCentre, Live Science, Medical News Today and more.

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ghost halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Celebrate spooky season with these 150 corny Halloween jokes

ghost halloween jokes

Halloween is a time for tricks and treats , and that includes a few laughs. Whether you want to include a witty caption for your gourd-geous Instagram photo or have a few jokes up your sleeve for trick-or-treaters , there are just too many spooky side-ticklers to choose from.

We've compiled an extensive list of the funniest puns, one-liners and knock-knock jokes for October that'll help you put the "ha" in Halloween .

Halloween witch jokes

  • What happened to the badly behaved witch at school? She was ex-spelled.
  • Why don’t witches wear flat caps? There’s no point in it. 
  • What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a billionaire? A very witch person.
  • Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
  • Why is a witch like a candle? They’re both wicked to the core.
  • Have you seen the twin witches? I can’t tell witch is witch!
  • What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked home.
  • What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
  • What do you call two witches in a haunted house? Broommates.
  • What do you call a witch that lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
  • What do you learn at witch school? Spelling.
  • Why couldn’t the little witch read her spellbook? It was written in curse-ive.
  • What does a witch like to read in the newspaper? Her horror scope.
  • What sound do witches’ cereals make? Snap, cackle and pop.
  • Have you heard about the poor witch who became a millionaire? It was a rags-to-witches story.
  • How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.
  • What does a little witch use to bake? An easy-bake coven.
  • What do you call a witch’s spotless garage? A broom closet.
  • What do witches’ cats eat for breakfast? Mice crispies. 

Halloween memes: 75 that'll keep you howling through spooky season 2023

Halloween skeleton jokes

  • Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
  • How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
  • Why don't skeletons play music at church? They don’t have any organs.
  • Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
  • What type of art do skeletons like? Skulltures.
  • What do skeletons say before eating? "Bone appetite."
  • What instruments do skeletons play? Trom-bone.
  • Why did the skeleton quit playing football? His heart wasn’t in it.
  • What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? Will you marrow me?
  • Did you hear about the skeleton who went to the hospital? He ate a jawbreaker.
  • What do you give a skeleton who is trick-or-treating? Spare ribs.
  • Why don’t skeletons like to go out in the winter? The cold goes right through them.
  • How does an angry skeleton confront his friend? I’ve got a bone to pick with you!
  • Why did the skeleton climb a tree? A dog was after his bones.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton use a towel after he took a shower? He was already bone-dry.

Halloween ghost jokes

  • What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice scream.
  • What did they say about the girl who married a ghost? I don’t know what possessed her!
  • What did ghosts drink at the party? Ghoul-aid.
  • Who protects the shores where spirits live? The Ghost Guard.
  • Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license.
  • Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite vacation spot? Lake Eerie.
  • What medicine do ghosts take when they have a cold? Coffin drops.
  • Why are ghosts cowards? They’ve got no guts.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite song? America the Boo-tiful.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of street? A dead end.
  • What do baby ghosts drink? Evaporated milk.
  • Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to “The Other Side.”
  • How do ghosts stay fit? They keep up with regular exorcise.
  • Why aren’t ghosts popular at parties? They’re not much to look at.
  • What is a little ghost’s favorite toy? Boo-merangs.
  • What is a ghost’s favorite fairytale? Sleeping Boo-ty.
  • What is one room you won’t find in a ghost’s house? A living room.
  • Why did the ghost go to the doctor? To get a booster shot.
  • What did the ghost say when it fell? I got a boo boo.
  • What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Ma-scare-a.
  • When do ghosts like to go trick or treating? In the moaning.
  • How do ghosts do their makeup? They use vanishing cream.
  • What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
  • Where do baby ghosts go while their parents work? Day-scare.
  • What is a ghost’s favorite ride? A roller ghost-er.
  • How does a ghost sneeze? Ah, ah, ah BOO! 

Halloween vampire jokes

  • What kind of lock does Dracula have on his door? A dead bolt.
  • What is a vampire’s favorite soup? Scream of tomato.
  • What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  • Did you hear about the vampire who needed glasses? It was blind as a bat.
  • Why did the vampire become an actor? He wanted a part he could really sink his teeth into.
  • What is a vampire’s favorite candy? A sucker.
  • Why did the vampire need mouthwash? He had bat breath.
  • How do vampires flirt? They bat their eyes.
  • What is a vampire’s favorite song? Another one bites the dust.
  • What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
  • Why are vampires like dentures? They come out at night.
  • What is a vampire’s favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.
  • Why are vampires easily fooled? They’re born suckers.
  • Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water.

Halloween monster jokes

  • What is a monster’s favorite snack food? Ghoul scout cookies.
  • Where do werewolves buy their candy for trick or treaters? A were-house.
  • How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried.
  • Did you hear about the werewolf party? It was a howling success.
  • What kind of vehicle does Frankenstein drive? A monster truck.
  • What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
  • Why doesn’t anyone tell mummy jokes? They get a bad wrap. 
  • What kind of coffee do mummies drink? De-coffin-ated.
  • Why don’t mummies have hobbies? They’re too wrapped up in work.
  • What is a mummy’s favorite rock band? The Grateful Dead.
  • Why was the mummy sent to jail? He ran a pyramid scheme.
  • What is the dead’s favorite card game? Gin Mummy.
  • Where do monsters go for a hike? Death valley.
  • What type of monster loves to dance? The boogeyman.
  • What do you do with a green monster? Wait until it's ripe. 
  • What do monsters eat with their sandwiches? Ghoulslaw.
  • What is a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.

Halloween Zombie jokes

  • How do zombies serve their country? In the Marine Corpse.
  • Who won the zombie war? Nobody, it was a dead tie!
  • Why did the zombie cross the road? He wanted to eat the chicken?
  • Where do zombies go on cruises? The Dead-iterranean Sea!
  • Why did the zombie stop eating breakfast? He didn’t want to be a cereal killer.
  • Why did the zombie go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite.
  • How do zombies study for tests? They eat lots of brain food.
  • What do you get when you cross a zombie with a snowman? Frostbite.
  • What does it take to become a zombie? Dead-ication.
  • What is black, white and dead all over? A zombie in a tuxedo.
  • What is the safest place to be in a zombie apocalypse? The living room.
  • What did the zombie say to his date? I love a woman with brains.
  • How did the zombie greet his date? I’m dying to meet you.
  • Why are zombies never arrested? They can never be taken alive.
  • What is a zombie sleepover called? A mass grave.
  • Why did the zombie eat an archer? It wanted the bone and marrow.
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite type of bean? A human bean.
  • What is a zombie’s favorite language? Latin, because it’s a dead language.
  • What shampoo do zombies use? Head and shoulders.
  • What is the worst animal to run into during a zombie apocalypse? A dead one.
  • A lawyer, a doctor and a zombie walked into a bar. Three zombies walked out. 

Pumpkin jokes

  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash. 
  • Where do pumpkins hold meetings? In the gourdroom.
  • How do pumpkins listen to music? On vine-yl.
  • What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
  • What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock-o-lantern.
  • How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
  • How do you use a pumpkin to summon ghosts? With a Ouija gourd.
  • What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out! 
  • What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie? "Pulp Fiction."
  • What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd. 
  • Who helped the pumpkin cross the road? The crossing gourd.
  • Why was the jack-o-lantern so forgetful? Because he’s empty-headed! 

Other spooky jokes

  • Why did the scarecrow fail as a stand-up comedian? All his jokes were corny.
  • Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field.
  • Who runs the haunted house for scarecrows? The first little pig. 
  • What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A Milk Dud.
  • What do you call two married spiders? The newly webs.
  • Why do spiders make good baseball players? They know how to catch flies.
  • What kind of TV would you find in a haunted house? A wide-scream one.
  • Why did they keep a fence around the graveyard? Because everyone was dying to get in.
  • What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa.
  • Who’s in charge of the candy corn? The kernel. 

Halloween knock-knock jokes

  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood.
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! It’s almost Halloween.
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Philip. Philip who? Philip my bag with Halloween candy!
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot of candy and now my tummy hurts.
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are?
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Diane. Diane who? Diane to meet you!
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Norway. Norway who? Norway I will leave until I get candy!
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Candy cow jump over the moon?
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome candy to me. 
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say zombie?
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Candy door open any slower?
  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al give you a Kit Kat for a Milky Way.

What is candy corn made of?: Ingredients of the divisive Halloween candy

More Halloween stories for a freaky October 

  • Best new Halloween flicks to watch in 2023 from "Saw X" to "The Exorcist: Believer"
  • Google Trends' FrightGeist lists the most popular Halloween costumes of 2022
  • Halloween waste is a 'major issue' for climate. How to be more sustainable
  • 4 in 10 Americans want to travel for Halloween: How much they can expect to pay
  • Where to find adaptive costumes this Halloween
  • 5 spooky Halloween vacation destinations in the US for families
  • Easy Halloween makeup looks you can achieve 
  • These Halloween Squishmallows are scarily cute

Just Curious for more? We've got you covered

USA TODAY is exploring the questions you and others ask every day. From  "Are witches real?"  to  "Why does my cat bite me?"  to  "How many Harry Potter movies are there?" , we're striving to find answers to the most common questions you ask every day. Head to our  Just Curious section  to see what else we can answer for you. 

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